Why You Give Up
You defend your position of why you should not "keep trying" to get out with two key facts. 1). You have tried and failed, and this has broken your trust 2). It hurts to fail, and we avoid pain when possible.
I’m going to restate the points like this:
1). You have tried and failed so it’s difficult for you to trust and become vulnerable again. A lack of hope stops you from trying again. This pain stops you from trying again.
2). It hurts to fail so it's difficult to keep trying when you believe the end result will be painful. Like getting an electric shock every time you touch your door handle. Soon you'll start to cringe and fear going through that door...
What is the result and what do you gain from not trying again? You gain “safety”. You won’t be hurt or rejected again. You won't fail again and suffer that emotional pain. But does this safety reduce your emotional pain ... or increase it? Because by not trying again you also lose any chance of achieving the relationship you desire, or the happiness and peace you are struggling to attain. In the short term not trying appears to have the advantage because it saves you from conflict and pain, but in the long term, it’s causing you a LOT MORE pain.
"... there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for."
How willing are you to accept the fact that every time you have tried and failed in the past does NOT mean every time you try you will fail in the future? I can’t see the future. It’s possible you will fail and fail again but the law of averages is in your favor.
Is it worth trying for? Is it worth fighting for? If you answered, "yes" then let's start talking about HOW you're going to try. Let's start talking about those safe circles that can draw you closer and closer to your goals.