Monday, 16 January 2017

The Magnitude and Root-Causes of Today’s Kedusha Crisis

Part 3/12 (to see other parts of the article, click on the pages at the bottom)
What is the magnitude of the problems that have arisen as a result of digital technology, and how can we address the core roots that lead to these problems?

by Yaakov from GYE (See all authors)

> Based on what you said, is it accurate to say that around 70% of frum people who have internet still have unfiltered devices?

We don't know the exact numbers, but I think this is a safe guestimate for the U.S. Even if more than that amount have filters on some of their devices such as in the home, they likely won't have on their personal mobile devices. (Note: Besides for the great danger that this is to them, what kind of message does this send to our children?)

> Also you mentioned that "hundreds of people have been referred to SA therapy because of sexual promiscuity, beyond illicit images. Can you tell me how many hundreds that is. Is it 200. Is it 900?

Again, I don't have exact numbers but there was a recent international convention of SA in Israel and someone who was there sent us the following email:

GuardYourEyes just got a big mention and a round of applause at the Yerushalayim SA convention with 700 people. The speaker referred to GYE as the biggest feeder of SA members in Israel.

A man named Dov has about 20 years clean in SA and he is the leading moderator on our forums. He also leads a special SA phone conference. He has been guiding hundreds of GYE members for about 3 years now. In 2012 he wrote this email to us:

I just want you to know that I just got back from a sexual sobriety shabbaton with ~300 people, at least 100 wives and >200 sexaholics, all going to SA and S-Anon meetings and getting well, be"H. It was incredible. The speakers, the ruach, the simcha, the meetings, the honesty and the sobriety. Lots of laughing and lots of crying, lots of couples working hard to get life right for themselves and their families. What can I say? And there were at least 30 guys there who came over to me to thank me for GYE. Many told me that although GYE on its own wasn't enough for them ...but they found friends on GYE, and those friends led them to SA. Now they are sober, their wives have support with their S-Anon sponsors and buddies, and their families are transformed and getting better. After sitting down with the first two or three guys, I took a break to go to the bathroom. As soon as I locked the stall door, I burst into tears. A great member in the fellowship told me today that he did not see GYE as an appropriate way to save so many families when I first mentioned it to him. But I stuck with it, stayed available to the scared and confused "ba'alei Teshuvah"...and now many families are alive that were previously dead and dying. I know that it is not just me, but Duvid Chaim, Steve, Shlomo and others on GYE, too. He admitted that GYE is a conduit that Hashem is using to change the way the frum world gets into recovery and that he is amazed.

In 2013 Dov sent us the following email:

Just got home a few hrs ago from JSS (the SA frum weekend) and met at least 10 guys there who came forward to me and thanked me for GYE, specifically reporting that they read the 'Daily Dose of Dov' on your chizuk emails and it carried (or pushed them) them into recovery. I know there were a lot more who were helped along by your website but did not know to associate me with it at all, so they didn't say hi. I am so grateful for the opportunity given to me...yet again.

More recently Dov wrote:

I have had the zechus through GYE of individually helping about 30 people a year successfully move into good SA recovery via the "Desperados call", posting, and chatting on GYE in my spare time. By the very same token, I have helped many GYE people keep and open mind and steer clear of SA and 12 steps when it was not right for them, b"H, and get to counselors and shrinks who can help them navigate and make the hard choices. It's incredibly rewarding work. Thank G-d for GYE! And thank G-d that there are qualified counselors and shrinks who can help 12 step and non-12 step guys get the help they really need.

Most GYE people I meet are so terribly alone, as I was in those 20 years before recovery. You have started a real chessed society that the Chofetz Chaim would probably have been been proud of. He stepped in the breach, and his was bris haloshon while GYE is helping many with bris ham'or. Amazing...

Bottom line: I think it is safe to say that about half of SA members today in Israel have gotten to the groups through GYE, and perhaps about 25% of frum people in the U.S. got there through GYE.