Thursday, 19 October 2017

Not fearing change

by GYE Member (See all authors)

I’m in college and there’s non-tzniyus dress everywhere! I take off my glasses, no matter what I don't rationalize “I’m probably not going to see anyone right now.” Why? Why do I 'torture' myself? Because my life is on the line!!! My kedusha is at stake, what in the whole entire world can be more important? I’m writing this to be mechazek myself. Also, because I feel so alone, Ivri Anochi, I feel different. I'm isolated in this non-Jewish environment, I need constant chizuk. I know that when I avert my eyes from seeing potential erva, and I walk around school in my own little bubble, I’m not alone, the malachei hashareis are escorting me.

Slowly but surely, I’ve been making changes, adding more comprehensive gedarim. It’s scary at times, and I tell myself “how could I function without this or that website,” and the Satan is always making moments of nisayon when it seems like I need that internet site whether for work or school etc. But once I recognize that it’s just the Satan trying to mess me up, I am all the more closer to passing the nisayon.

I realized that I can make kabbalos, but I have to not be afraid to make dramatic changes in my lifestyle. Then, amazing things will happen. It’s one thing to make kabbalos, but they need to be backed up or else nothing will change. The moment I made a big leap forward, so many brachos came into my life.

Friends, Hashem wants to step in your life and fill it with light, brachos, and happiness, we just have to let him in! There’s always going to be excuses but don't be afraid to make big changes!