The Library

Dear Reb Guard, I must admit that I have not been reading all the emails that you kindly send out every day but I am doing other work for myself. In February last year, I went to my first SA meeting. It was very embarrassing. It was a huge leap for me, but I thought I cou...

I have B"H over 6 years clean in SA, and I am grateful for such a venue to share these victories in the name of Hashem with others. Somehow I've been doing great even without meetings, but I make phone calls everyday to share and connect. Your chizuk e-mails help even fur...

We struggle so hard to "figure" our way out, to try to understand what's happening. But my experience has been that my understanding "availed me nothing" (as the AA saying goes).Maybe you are beginning to understand that this is a problem that's bigger than you, than you ...

An addict, in the purest sense of the word, means: You cannot STOP. Faced with the temptation, you're going to give in. Though you may wrestle with it and hold it back for a day or a week or a month, it's always in the back of your mind AND IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME UNTI...

With Hashem's help, I reached 90 days over the summer - which was quite an achievement for me. Unfortunately I fell a few weeks later, just before Yomim Noraim and I've been up and down since then, peaking at 30 clean days. The falls come and go - they've been emotionally...

By "Jack" (whose story appears here): Two years ago, Reb Guard told me to heal myself while I still have bechira in the matter, because there will come a time when my bechira will disappear, and then healing will not be a result of my work - and therefore not worth so muc...

Aryeh writes: I am a 25 year old college student struggling with viewing internet porn and, quite recently, relations with a non-Jewish ex-girlfriend from before I was frum. B''H I have been able to cut off contact with said woman, which is something I tried hard to do fo...

"Yashuv V'Yashuv" writes: I'm going through a particularly difficult time at the moment. I am proud to say that I did once make it to day 90 on the charts, so I know I have that koach within me, but at the moment it's so hard to see it. I know that filters alone are not g...

As I have posted elsewhere on this site, I travel a lot for my job and when I travel is the most challenging time.B"H I have been doing quite well for a while, but I have still been finding it a struggle to avoid the pool areas of the hotels I am staying at.I am currently...

We are really a lucky people. There is a whole world outside of this site that has not only immersed itself completely in garbage but, even more unfortunately, has called that normal and settled for a life that wallows in p** and quick-fix stimulation. We, on the other ha...

My name is Yossi, I am a 19 year old Bochur, and I have been Shomer Habris for over 6 months B"H - the best 6 months of my life. One of the main things that spurred me to stop, besides for the extreme seriousness of the sin, was the realisation of how much better life wou...

By "Jack", clean for two years on GYE In America, it is often asked: 'what's in it for me?' Well, being "clean" is not the same as fulfilling every desire of ours - it's a much more subtle feeling. It takes time to appreciate the feeling that comes with being holy (separ...

We're all on a slow curve going up - but it has lots of dips and chinks along the way. You may have fallen, but you're still higher than you were a month ago, a year ago, or maybe even a week ago. Even though you don't feel it, every effort counts here. See Rav Matisyohu ...

Dov from Israel writes: I had an interesting experience... I kept noticing that someone was also logged in when I was on my other Gmail account - but I did not recognize the person. Perhaps it was someone I once sent an email too (I am involved in several different activi...

Hold me, my dear G-d. This is not a fight that I can win. I lie prostrate at Your feet, my face pressed against the cool stone of the throne room. I feel Your gaze on me, and it is kind. I know that You are there for me. I wish I could clamber into Your lap and snuggle do...

On Friday night I wasn't in the mood of singing zemiros. I had a short conversation with the Ribono Shel Olam:"Hashem, there were times today when I felt a strong desire. I said then that I want to desire YOU HASHEM instead. Now Hashem, please give the cheishek to sing ze...

Because it would be extremely unpopular, the medical community does not tell the truth about sex. If they would, here are some of the things they would publicize: 1) It is essential to be monogamous for life (barring subsequent marriages), and to have sex only with someon...

Chazal tell us that at the end of days when haKadosh Baruch Hu will slaughter the Yetzer, all of those who actually see it will cry: the (various) tzaddikim will cry out of joy, as they will see it as a huge mountain and they will say, "How did I ever succeed at conquerin...