The Library

After Bila'am's failed efforts to curse the Jewish people, he devised another ploy. He advised the nations of Midian and Moav to lure the Jews to sin through salacious activities. Midian complied wholeheartedly, offering its daughters as conspirators in the profanity. The...

When I was little, there was a monster in my closet.It huddled there in the dark, breathing.I could hear it. I knew it was there, but no one spoke about it.So I closed my eyes,tried to ignore itand prayed for it to go away. One day, a as a teenager,I peeked at the monster...

"Helpless" Posts: Deep Breathe.... Here we go: I am torn. Torn to pieces. Shreds. Threads. What is there to do? Another spiral downward. Another dip in the sea of death. Yet another cry from my knees. I don't know what to do anymore. I honestly feel hopeless. Helpless. Al...

We just need to get more well acquainted. But who knows each other better than the members of this forum, who share so much of themselves, their real selves, and go through the same struggles. I’m just like you. okay, maybe not exactly like you, but obviously, from the fa...

Even though I had a fall today, I had a lot of wins over lusting in the last couple of days and I'm proud of myself for that. I feel happy with myself and comfortable on my path to get this lusting out of my life. I don't feel this big disappointment for starting all over...

No man can move a thing without G-d decreeing it Up There ... and what am I doing when I fall? Essentially, forcing G-d to allow me to sin... like He is doing it for me... I am making Him sin for me... Ouch Ouch... Bad.

You know how they say that the Torah's restrictions free a person? Well by working on myself to overcome this addiction, I am really starting to feel it down to my bones and tummy. It's like, now that I don't come home, collapse on my bed, open my laptop and 'do my thing'...

We are far from perfect. We sin, we fall, we fail. And we come to HKBH with requests for life, health, zivugim, etc. and when we are ready to show what we are giving in exchange, we open our palm and discover - nothing! What do we have to 'pay' for these gifts? Our palm l...

Be'H I will complete my second year of no porn / zera livatala very soon. To me, shmiras habris is the most important thing in the world. My first year's tactic was to read GYE and other material as much as I could. This past year, I decided to just not think about it at ...

Rav Elchonon Wasserman practiced Shivisi HaShem L'Negdi Tamid ("I always envisioned G-d before me"). For that reason, he absolutely never laughed or smiled. Or perhaps it was in mourning over the destruction of the Bais Hamikdash: "Then (at its rebuilding) your mouths wil...

Day 33 coming up. I have so far steered completely away from p__ & m__. Thankfully, lust is not an issue and I haven't entertained it with my eyes or mind. All in all it's been a very useful experience. My hope is that things progress, more and more and more. How incr...

The thoughts are relentless. They give me no rest. Why have I this struggle? Why have I this test?A master blueprint, a master plan.So far beyond the thoughts of man.For this I am here, and I will do it well.Never mind heaven, and never mind hell.Alone I am helpless, this...