I'm so small...do I really matter?!
“Hear O Israel - you are coming near to the battle against your enemies; let your heart not be FAINT; do not PANIC and do not be BROKEB before them!”
אל ירך לבבכם אל תיראו ואל תחפזו ואל תערצו מפניהם
The Journey to become Sober is often called "a battle!"
I have lots of personal experience with the Journey into Recovery. Given my nature as an independent and self-made man, early on in life, I developed and reinforced within me a heightened level of Self-Reliance. I think that the Big Book page 60 was written about me:
"Each person is like a actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If only the arrangements would stay put, if only people would do as we wished, the show would be great.....What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes angry, indignant and self-pitying"
Of course, as we all know, that Frustration leads to Resentments and Fear - which leads to Pain - which leads to our Acting Out with our "Drug of Choice." It makes sense, right?! After all, don't we all want life and the people in it to go our way??
Unfortunately for us, we eventually find ourselves completely POWERLESS over our "Go-To Fix." And then alcohol, drugs, food, sex, becomes our master!! Becomes our ENEMY. And it isn't long before we feel faint, panic and broken!
Let’s consider how the Parasha address this issue...
As we learn in Chapter 20, Verse 3 - “Hear O Israel - you are coming near to the battle against your enemies; let your heart not be faint; do not panic and do not be broken before them!”
Similarly, Bill Wilson in Chapter 5, Page 58 emphasizes that we must be "rigorous" in our efforts to work our Recovery Program. Why? With some of the most shtark words in the entire Big Book, we are warned:
"Remember that we deal with Lust - Cunning, Baffling, Powerful! Without help, it is too much for us. But there in ONE who has all Power - that ONE is GOD!"
Wow, this sounds a whole lot like the continuation of Parasha Shoftim, Chapter 20, Verse 4, where Moshe inspires us concerning the fear of our Enemies, by stating:
For Hashem, your GOD is the ONE who goes with you, to fight for you with your Enemies, to save you!!!"
Do you really want to fight the Enemy of Addiction? Do you really want Sobriety?? Do you really want to live a life of Freedom and Recovery??
Then as we learn from our Program, we can take the simplest step of all -
Let Go and Let God!
Please pay special attention to how this simple quote says volumes! I'm pretty sure that most of us, would be very pleased to Let God take care of all our problems and our enemies. BUT FIRST, the biggest hurdle we have to overcome is making the decision and taking active steps to LET GO!!
Thanks to Parasha Shoftim, now I really understand the piece of advice I received from a Program buddy who taught me:
No G-d...No Peace
Know G-d...Know Peace