I reached my own "moment of truth" only after many long years - way too long - of unimaginable suffering and pain. Only then, when I stood completely alone opposite the mirror and looked myself in the eyes, I began to understand that if I want to live there's only one way for me to get out of my impossible situation; to take complete responsibility for my own destiny. But how? Firstly, by admitting to the simple yet painful truth: I am sick with a harsh disease called "addiction", and there is no chance for me to recover with my own strengths; I need help.
I pray and hope that the book I wrote ("The First Day of the Rest of My Life") will find you a moment before it is too late, and that you will be saved from all the unnecessary suffering.
Like we said, the path to recovery from a strong sexual addiction - or any addiction for that matter, begins with the simple understanding and recognition that I am addicted and need help. But what to do from there? What is the next step? To whom do we turn for this intense - yet sensitive - issue?
The subject of sex is intimate, sensitive and personal. In the religious camp, this subject is labeled as "Taboo" and guarded under a stamp of holiness and purity. It is very difficult for us to discuss these issues even with those closest to us, and it is especially difficult to reveal the deep, dark and painful aspects of our open sores before a stranger. This, on top of the fear that our secrets will leak out to the public and we will become a mockery and be scorned in everyone's eyes.
All this and more: For addicts, their addiction is an existential need, like their air to breath. And therefore addicts will do anything - literally anything, and resort to any means, to remove anyone or anything in their path that wants to break through the protective walls that they built around themselves. In light of all this, it is very difficult for an external source of treatment to succeed.
So, if - in spite of the above - we have reached a willingness to take a gamble and reveal ourselves before another person with the hope that this person can help us deal with our addiction, it is vital to know to whom it is worthwhile to turn for help, in order to save ourselves from further grief and unnecessary expenses.
There are many therapists who claim to deal with the field of sexuality in general and addictions in particular, but there are few that truly do possess the tools to deal with this complex and delicate issue. Besides for professional training and much clinical experience, the therapist should also be someone with a highly developed self awareness and an intelligent and keen sensitivity. In addition to all this, it is preferable that the sex addiction therapist themselves have had personal experience in dealing with some type of addiction, whatever it may be, since the psychological processes in the various types of addictions are extremely similar.
From my own personal experience I have discovered, that even if in other fields of treatment the therapist need not have experienced himself the illness he is treating, the situation is different with addictions. The best addiction therapists are particularly those that have dealt themselves with obsessions and addictions, because only they truly understand inside out, the psychological processes of the addict and his method of thinking.