Sunday, 27 November 2011

Should I Join SA?

I only act out online. Should I join a live 12-Step SA group?

by Dov (See all authors)

Someone asks:

My only issues are masturbation and pornography. I never acted out live. Should I join an SA group?

Dov Responds:

"The only requirement for membership is a sincere desire to stop lusting" - White Book, page something-or-other (amud beis)

The question I'd ask is: "Is it overkill to go to SA meetings?" And I'd say it depends on one thing: Is what you are doing now working, or not? If it is, why go? And if it isn't, why not? That's my feeling. For anyone to say "you must go" they have to be nuts, crazy, or just plain insane, or think they are G-d or something like G-d... fortunately, I am just goofy!

Are you sure that there are no down sides?

There are some who say that people are exposed to far worse types of acting out when they go to meetings (I say they'll figure it all out eventually anyway); that they are exposed to Christian ideas in the 12 steps (I say they are all Jewish); that the meetings are often in churches - which is either ossur or somehow influences members to believe in avodah zarah (I say it's better than being another frum yid in the newspaper getting caught five years hence in "shady behaviors" and/or getting divorced - and not ossur anyway); that they can't possibly learn about Hashem from goyim (they'd rather learn about Hashem only from frum guys who learn in the beis midrash during the day and go to prostitutes at night, than from goyim who do it, apparently), and other issues. I just say, "phooey"... (somehow in a respectful way :-)