Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Our Lust is Often Misguided Yearning

by Dov (See all authors)

I truly believe that the lust problem we have is part and parcel of our natural but misguided yearning for d'veikus with Ultimate Power and Ultimate Goodness. I know that I want porn - not because it is dirty and "I like to be dirty" but because my heart tells me that something about it is truly beautiful and warm, and loving. I know that a good part of my heart is yearning, but is twisted. For me, Recovery is a process of learning what true beauty is. Chazal say it is Hashem. There is no coincidence that they refer to that Ultimate beauty as P'nei haSh'chinah - a feminine aspect symbolized by Chava, and later by Rochel and Leyah. I hope I am not being too weird for you here, but there are many times that I notice a pretty woman on the subway in NY and turn away asking Hashem to "help me not be distracted by that shadow of true beauty and instead come to always appreciate the real beauty that is Your Malchus and Sh'chinah haKedosha." Nu. It works.