Some people face difficult situations when the whole world seems to be against them. It seems to them that everyone looks down on them, and it might even be true. This is one of the most difficult challenges a person can face. Hopefully, when we realize what matters in life, we will hold highly of ourselves despite what others think. But it can still be very painful to go through such situations, especially if those who look down on us are authority figures or people we respect.
And even if we don’t face such challenges, if we care about what others think of us, it will probably cause us pain at some point. There will be times when nobody seems to respect us, and it won’t be so easy to convince ourselves that people respect our self-control. We might feel that others think we are ultra-religious and strange. Thus, we need one more tactic to solve this.
In the next world, Hashem’s perspective on what is impressive will be clear to all. At that point, everyone will view life the way Hashem does. As a result, every person, whether they respected those who were flashy and cool or those who looked so religious, will respect only those who put in effort in the face of difficulty. By fighting in the most difficult battle ever, we guarantee that we will be highly regarded in the next world by everyone, including those who look down on us now.
When you make a noticeable change, it’s important to tell your friends in advance. Doing this properly prevents conflicts and minimizes social pressure. If you defuse the tension before it starts, there will be less resistance to your new way of acting. You have a choice between one uncomfortable conversation and months of discomfort. Don’t let uneasiness stop you.
When you tell others about the changes you are making, you want to make sure you don’t come off as feeling superior. The way to do this is to relate that you have a weakness, and that you have come up with a plan to improve. Ask them to help you by supporting your decision and helping you keep to your plan. This shows that you don’t feel above them; instead, you are depending on them.
Also, confide in them that you know it will be hard but you will try your best anyway because it is important to you. This will increase their respect for you, and will limit any friction later on. And by confiding in them, you will cause them to feel important in your eyes and they will act like allies. They will respect your decision and help you attain your goals.