"When B'nai Yisrael went down to Egypt, they behaved with modesty - each person living in his own tent, as the verse says (Shemot 1:1): 'Each man and his household came.' Reuven did not look at Shimon's wife, nor did Shimon look at Reuven's wife. Rather, each man lived modestly within his own tent. Even when the population of men numbered 600,000 in the desert, not one man placed the opening of his tent opposite the opening of his friend's tent." (Yalkut Shimoni, Balak)
In ancient days, life was different and people were different too. In the modern world, we are so used to seeing women in public that we have grown somewhat "immune" to them. So shouldn't these laws and teachings be modified?
Yes, times have changed, and there are some leniencies in the fine details of some of these laws. Please consult your rabbi for specific questions and rulings. The four laws that we learned in Day 7, however, are d'Oraitah, direct Torah prohibitions, and immutable.
A standard rationale offered by those who are lax in Shmirat Einayim is the idea that we've grown so used to seeing women immodestly dressed in public that it barely affects us anymore.
One of the greatest Ba'alei Mussar was Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian, who taught Torah for over seventy years in Europe and Eretz Yisrael. One of his students was invited to a wedding where the laws of modesty would not be observed. He asked Rabbi Lopian if he could go to the wedding. When asked what he would do about the lack of tzniut, the student told him that the sight of immodest women does not affect him. Without another word, Rabbi Lopian reached for a book of Tehillim and started praying. "Rabbi, what are you doing?" asked the student.
His teacher responded, "I am 86 years old and blind in one eye, and I am still affected by human nature. You are young and in the prime of life. If you are not affected by immodest sights, then perhaps you're sick. I am saying Tehillim for your recovery!"
There are others who feel that they are somehow above the law. King Solomon was the wisest of men. He knew that the Torah limits how many wives a king is permitted to marry. Yet he reasoned that the Torah's restriction is for an average king. Since he was so wise, he thought that the Torah's law did not apply to him. Far exceeding the maximum number permitted, he eventually had "700 wives, princesses, and 300 concubines..." The result was that, "When he was old, his wives turned his heart away."
Think of it! King Solomon, the tzaddik who built the Beit HaMikdash, was the son of King David. He was the Gadol HaDor and the wisest man who ever lived. Imbued with ruach hakodesh, he composed the holy books of Shir HaShirim, Mishlei, and Kohellet. Despite his unfathomable greatness, he was not immune to being influenced by an aspect of desire.
None of us are anywhere near his level. How much more so should we take every precaution to fulfill these halachot! Even if we don't fully understand the relevancy of the laws, as Torah Jews we must observe them.
Today: Defer to the wisdom of the Torah regarding the laws of Shmirat Einayim. They are relevant to every generation and every circumstance.
The invitation to Brett and Cindy's wedding came the other day. Neither one is an observant Jew, and their families know nothing about tzniut. Now that I've made a commitment to control my eyes, my first reaction was "I can't go!"
But I see Brett at the office every day and he seems really anxious for me to be there. "Don't worry, Steve," he keeps urging me, "I'll order kosher food for you." How could he understand if I tell him there'll be more there that's not kosher besides the food?
If it were anybody else, I would simply send a nice gift and explain that I will not be able to attend. Usually, that's acceptable (especially if it's a really nice gift!), and I don't have to compromise my Torah standards.
But in this case, I'll have to show up, at least for part of the time. I told Brett that he can count on me to be there for the ceremony, but right after the ceremony, I'll have to be on my way. "And you'll save on that kosher meal," I kidded him.
I've been told that even if they wear an immodest dress for the reception, some women cover up for the "religious" part of the wedding. If I'm lucky, that will be the case. If not, I'll have to put into action everything I've learned about Shmirat Einayim. In any case, I'll leave just as soon as I can.
These e-mails are excerpts taken from the book "Windows of the Soul" by Rabbi Zvi Miller of the Salant Foundation.