Tool 12: Group Support
Since one of the most powerful tools for breaking addictions is getting out of isolation, we need to increase our interaction with others in the same situation as much as possible. If a single partner or sponsor still does not give us the strength we need to completely stop acting out, there is nothing more powerful than group support to help addicts break free from addictions. Rabbi Avraham Twerski consistently stresses this to people who seek his council on dealing with this struggle.
On the Guard Your Eyes network, there are a few group support options. Firstly, we can join the forum and post there frequently. We quickly come to view the fellow warriors there as our spiritual "family". We get tons of support and are able to share chizuk with so many others. This is very helpful for our own recovery. We no longer feel alone in our struggle, and we watch how others, perhaps even worse off than us, make great progress.
Besides this, Guard Your Eyes offers many phone conference groups throughout the week where we can share anonymously with a group of Yidden like us, and get chizuk from the various programs and from each other. See our website for more info on the various phone groups.
One of our phone conferences recently started a great new feature. Everyone who was interested shared and exchanged phone numbers (anonymous numbers are available from Google Voice) and e-mail addresses with each other - through the moderator. He then sent the group “Call Roster” to all those who had participated, and encouraged the members to call each other and stay in touch regularly, especially when feeling weak. This new feature proved to be very helpful to the members of the group, and we plan on expanding this idea on GYE in other ways as well, such as by creating a special database of members’ anonymous ‘contact info’ available to anyone who wants to join.
One of the previous Slonimer Rebbes had a Chassid that embarked on a business trip. Being away from the comfort and protection of his home, he was tempted with the Nisayon of Yosef Hatzaddik. In a moment of cheshbon hanefesh he said to himself: "when I come back, my Rebbe will see that I sinned". But then he thought: "I will avoid my Rebbe". Then he thought to himself, "but my friends will notice on my behavior that I sinned, and can I live without my friends? NO, I need my friends!" And that is what helped him overcome his Yetzer Hara. When he got back, his Rebbe told him: "What even a Rebbe can not accomplish, having good friends CAN".