Tool 3: Guard Your Eyes
5) Letting Go of Lust: The world is full of temptations. If we want to hold on to lust, we will have endless opportunities to continue lusting at every turn. We will be fighting a losing battle of Shemiras Ainayim by constantly trying not to look at things that we do want to look at so badly. Instead, the real trick to success is to learn how to let go of the lusting altogether. Instead of fighting it head-on, we need to simply let go of it.
As someone who is working the 12 Steps once wrote:
"Today, the fight is much easier for me. When I have urges, I admit powerlessness, acknowledge that Hashem is the only One that can - and will - help me, and I ask Hashem to remove the lust from me. I am frankly surprised by how much better this works than fighting the urges head on".
Another important step in letting go of lust, is learning how to deal with obsessive lustful thoughts and fantasies. See principle #11 of Part 2 below, for some great tips and techniques on how to let go of lust and fantasies in our minds.
6) Get daily chizuk on "Guarding Our Eyes": To receive daily chizuk on Shmiras Ainayim, sign up to the Shmiras Ainayim Chizuk e-mail list on our website.
The eyes are the windows to our souls and must be guarded diligently if we are to make real spiritual progress. We can download a free e-Book called "Windows of the Soul" by the Salant foundation from our website. This book, which can be purchased in hard copy as well, provides a 30-day Chizuk program to help us learn how to guard our eyes properly.
The GYE network also has a daily phone conference on Shmiras Ainayim (for non-addicts as well) where we can join together with a group of other Yidden by phone to get Chizuk and learn techniques on how to guard our eyes in today’s difficult environment.