Resources for Women
FEATURED ARTICLE: WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT PORN, ESPECIALLY FOR WOMEN?
Welcome to GuardYourEyes. You are no longer alone! GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, men and women, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas.
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions.
The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.
Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.
All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members. On our forum, charts, hotlines and phone conferences, only nicknames and non-revealing e-mail addresses are used. For starters, you may want to make yourself an anonymous e-mail address (something like firstname.lastname@example.org).
Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:
1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.
2) Install a strong filter (see our website www.venishmartem.com for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. We have a system where you don't hold the password, so you don't have the nisayon. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.
3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.
4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.
5) We have a special women's forum, women's chat-rooms and a women's partner-program. To gain access to all these helpful tools, sign up to our website here. Then leave a message at 646-600-8100 Ext.6 with your username so we can approve your account. The forum is a place where hundreds of people exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.
6) We have a special hotline for women. Contact us if you want to call and speak to a woman who understands you and can give you guidance and chizuk.
7) Join a free anonymous phone conference led by an experienced moderator. See this page for our phone conferences. (The one’s in pink are the women's groups.)
8) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at email@example.com.
9) Read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". The handbook details the GYE program which includes 20 tools in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this struggle/addiction, and continuing through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our struggle/addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!
10) For some frequently asked questions by women, see this page.
For starters, let's address a very common question. Since women don't have the same prohibition of zera livatala as men, what is so bad about porn and self-pleasuring? Answer: First of all, some poskim actually hold that women have a prohibittion of masturbation - see this article for more details. But even if not, indulging in self-gratification that is not necessary for the body's health, fuels the power of the "self" and that of the material over the spiritual, which in turn takes one away from holiness. Especially such an intense, fantasy based pleasure like masturbation. Women also are also obligated by the commandment to "Be holy!" which this behavior certainly is not. Besides for the lack of sanctity and purity of thought involved in the act, fantasies also can lead to forbidden acts, not to mention the possibility of becoming addicted to these behaviors. And addiction can quickly take over our lives and distract us from all our goals.... So remember this: Hashem is the source of all pleasure, good, love and warmth, and He is waiting for you to fall into His arms. The darkness of lust blinds us from His love. (For more on sexual purity for women click here).
Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.
We are here for you.
GYE E-Mail Helpline: firstname.lastname@example.org
GYE Phone Hotline: 646-600-8100