Monday, 01 May 2017

Why can't we just find one eitza?!

Why can't we just find one eitza that works and simply stay strong? Why do we keep slipping and struggling?!

by Dov (See all authors)

I believe that the main reason we cannot find one eitza that works is because an eitza is always, that means without exception, nothing more than a gimmick. Gimmicks are tricks that are used in order to bypass real change. They may prevent the behavior, but consider this: Removing the bad behavior is actually our problem, not our solution. Sobriety is actually our biggest problem - tolerating real life (which is how G-d expresses His Will for us day by day) is the great problem we have, and our sexual acting out is our temporary solution to our actual problem that is really just Hashem's Will. This is quite the opposite of standard GYE-encouraged perspective which assumes that we ('of course') prefer Hashem's Will, and that our problems are our strong tayvoh and the resultant sinning behavior that gets in our way. Gevalt, nothing could be further from the truth. The chiddush of GYE really needs to be that here we see totally frum and dedicated yidden, learning and teaching Torah (and getting very emotional about it cuz it's important to them) who nevertheless far prefer sex and erotic stimulation and treasure it even at the cost of risking our marriages, our olam habo's and our integrity. Shockingly, we, each in his and her own way, have all twisted and distorted certain aspects of avodas Hashem to allow these two extremes to coexist for all the years that we have been struggling with acting out our lust fantasies. Every GYE member who has been struggling with this for years and decades has proven that they have somehow figured out how to live with the contradiction - how to do both. And as long as we excuse this by calling it "the powerful Yetzer Hora", we deny the truth about our own hearts and reality: we love this stuff, we love the struggle-with-it-that-we-know-is-futile, and we do not really want it to end.

So we keep struggling with it because we still want to.