This one will save me! Or will it?
I have fallen only with pictures, I have a big urge to see a video. My illusion is that if I see one, it will quench my thirst and I will say goodbye... please help.
My dear friend, this is how we all progressed into addiction... First, as teenagers we had access only to pictures of lingerie and such, and we were sure that if we would only get our hands on the "real thing" and see a real porn magazine, our thirst would be quenched and we would be able to put it all behind us... Then we got the mags and wanted more variety, new images, new women, more explicit... Then we were sure that if we saw a real video, that would quench our thirst for sure! But it only whetted it more. We kept searching for that elusive "perfect clip", that "perfect scene"... And then we were sure that once we got married and had the real thing, we would for sure be finally satisfied! How many of us pleaded with Hashem to help us get married so we could FINALLY serve HIM properly and put this all behind us, right? But as hundreds of GYE members can testify, the real thing never helped. We continued lusting after every woman, thinking that "she" has what we "really" want...
And so, my friend, this is the cruel and baffling nature of addiction. It is NEVER satisfied and ALWAYS wants more. And the more we feed the monster, the bigger and more demanding it gets.
Happy is the one who stops EARLY in the game and doesn't fall for these empty promises that "this is all I need". "Just one more time."
As they say in the 12-Step program: "Once is too much, a thousand times is never enough."