A Non-Jew, who has been getting the Chizuk e-mails for almost two years, wrote me an e-mail today:
Dear Guard,
Recently, I have been thinking to myself that God wants us to fulfill our full potential. However, how can we do that if we've been weakened, bloodied and scarred by the consequences of masturbation, lust and pornography?
I'm not angry with God or feeling sorry for myself, but the truth is, that the time, energy, health and opportunities that so many of us have lost because of this - can never be fully replaced, if at all.
Though it is true that I am no longer addicted to those horrors and I'm not in a hell on earth anymore, I know that the effects of those lost years are following me, and will be with me till the day I die. Sure, I discovered the truth through an ordeal of suffering, and I learnt a lot about human nature and life, but the cost, even today, seems too heavy a price to have paid.
I know that we very well could be the generation before Messiach, but why have we been burdened with these onerous tasks?
I hope I haven't angered and annoyed you by my questions Reb G, but your insight and wisdom have put me at peace so many times before. Thanks for your time and help.
One day we will all understand why we needed to be hammered out of the walls of a deep underground cave, gathered piece by piece, filtered through water, cleansed through fire, melted in a huge smelting pot, and poured into a mold... all so that ultimately we will be beautiful statues of pure gold, standing tall in the Palace of the King, where he will take great pride in us - and we will bask in His glory and love, as He recalls the long and difficult journey that it took to get us there! :-)
I heard an alcoholic once say that he believed that "it took every single drink I ever had ... to get me to the point in recovery that I am at right now." It's a painful - but beautiful - experience to shed guilt and let go of our evils.
And that's what life's all about. The pain and suffering that we endured, is all part of the beautiful journey. Without it, we'd never get where we need to.