Am I a Lustaholic?
You said yesterday that you can't accept the fact that you are (or you are labeled) a lustaholic - an addict to lust.
I can identify with your fear of this stigma, I understand you so well. I (and many more on GYE) have been in the same boat and are still there. I will never forgot the moment I have realized that I'M A LUST ADDICT; ME? A LUST ADDICT? NO WAY! I'm not in that category at all. "Maybe, I can use some help, I have to learn more and try harder, I even accepted the fact that I need some professional help," I thought to myself, "but AN ADDICT? NO." It stroke me like a 20-pound hammer in my head, I couldn't accept it. But after some rational analysis, after reading a lot about it on GYE, both articles and on the forums, I couldn't fool myself anymore. I have soon realized that this has to be the final diagnosis. And after accepting this fact, it was much easier to deal with it.
Today, I know that to be a lustaholic is nothing wrong. If Hashem granted me these specific traits, or put me in these particular circumstances which caused me to developed this addiction, that's His Will. And of course, my job is to deal with it and take the proper treatment. And by that I'm fulfilling my duty in this world.
Today, I'm even proud to be a lust addict, believe me or not, that's what I feel.
I feel that God gave me an opportunity to fulfill His Will in such a way that even previous generation didn't have such an opportunity; there was never before this lust addict problem because the frequency of improper material or objects or humans was never so wide-spread as today. Therefore, I don't believe it was possible to develop lust addiction easily (the same as you wouldn't find alcoholics in Arab countries where alcohol is prohibited).
I feel like we are the Elite commando units, the Navy Seals of God. And God would not recruit to his Commandoes less than the best boys.