Why Jews can't play chess
The LUBAVITCHERS say the king lives forever.
The VISHNITZERS have 2 kings.
The GERERS wont let the king stand next to the queen.
The YERUSHALMIS wont let the soldiers (pawns) into their area.
Those from MEAH SHEARIM wont move out of their area.
MODERNERS dont want black and white.
The SEFARDIM want black to start,
and the BRESLOVERS say everyone jumps, not only the horse!