Friday, 27 April 2012

Realized that I am sick

by Anonymous (See all authors)

One of our members was once a hard-core addict in the worst ways and was sent by Rabbi Avraham Twerski to the SA groups. His life had hit rock bottom and having no choice, he joined the groups and worked the 12 steps program until it became his very "life-blood". He learned to give up his addiction to Hashem and is now already 3 years sober B"H. Today he helps others find their way as well. Recently, he posted the following to someone on the forum:

Like you, I am a grateful recovering sex-addict.

Giving tzedaka, fasting, praying, tikkunim, learning, etc. I did it all but nothing helped until I realized that I am sick, as chaza"l say "ein adom chote eloh eim kain necnes bo ruach shtus" ("a person doesn't sin unless a spirit of foolishness enters him"). Porn, masturbation, cyber-sex, prostitution, etc... are all a mental obsession which I got my self into, and once hooked a person can not stop, as chaza"l say "aad she'naase olov melech" ("until he [the Yetzer Hara] becomes king over him"). This is the job of the Yetzer Hara, to get people hooked so he owns them for life...

Giving Tzedaka while not realizing that it is Hashem who helps - not the zechusim (merits), is like a "toyval v'sheretz byado" (one who immerses in a Mikva while holding the impurity in his hand). A person must know that nothing, absolutely nothing happens without Hashem. He enabled us to get into this by giving us the bechirah (free choice) and he can take us out of this.

The only option is prayer, davening, davening, and davening. Also, all of us have may things that trigger us, like people, things and places. We must know these things by heart and ask Hashem for help to avoid these things at any cost, otherwise our life is in danger.