Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Just look at today

Part 1/2 (to see other parts of the article, click on the pages at the bottom)

by Ano-nymous, Getting Help (See all authors)

Many people are accomplishing great feats of Teshuvah and turning their lives around on the GUE network B"H. And we can all watch this happening LIVE on our forum every day! Here are some recent inspiring posts (edited for clarity):

 

"Ano-Nymous" (a Bachur) writes:

Today is a month!! I understand now why it gets so much easier. Unlike the drive for food and drink, this drive doesn't NEED to be fed in order to stay healthy and happy (of course the YH tries to convince you that it does need to be fed). The less you feed it, the less you need it.

Before I started working on this I wasn't davening with a Minyan very often. With Maariv tonight though, that will be 9 straight tefilos with a minyan!

Whenever a bad thought comes in, I think of an image of a beautiful waterfall, and the bad images leave immediately. I'm working on not staring in the streets. A couple of times I had to literally tear my head away. This is so hard sometimes that it hurts me to do it. But stopping the other behaviors is not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. The YH tricks you by getting you to look into the future. He says "look how much you enjoy this! How are you going to go without this for such a long time?". He used this to keep me from seriously trying to stop for years, but now I just look at today. And I also look backwards and see how far I've come. But I try not to look ahead at the difficulty. I only look forward to the milestones. Trying to imagine how hard it will be for the next 60 days is like looking down from atop a tightrope. You will fall and severely hurt yourself. So, DON'T LOOK DOWN! Just look at today.


Here are three inspiring posts by "getting help":

I feel so relived to finally get the help I need. I am excited that I am slowly getting there, to a place where I can feel really feel positive about my entire life. For over 30 yrs I have been a slave to porn and other unhealthy things. To say that I am really making big strides in overcoming this, is such a comfort. I want it all, the happy family, the great relationship with my wife and kids, success at work, spiritual growth and a special closeness to Hashem. Yes, I know it is all possible now!

 

Thank G_D I have made it thru this day. I was tested, but usually I would get lost in hours of hours of internet porn, instead I went here to post my thoughts. It is truly amazing how much I can get lost in escaping to the internet, and for what? The feeling of despair and self loathing is so not worth it. I hope I have the strength to do this on a daily basis. Getting clean and feeling better are feelings that I can take home with me, rather than the guilt I used to take home when I would spend hours online. Whew, what an eye opening day!!!!

 

Made it to day 7!!! I have installed a K9 filter which is quite good. I am finally starting to feel deserving of Hashem's mercy and chessed. I am so much more relaxed and calm. For some strange reason, this being my first week, I feel very accomplished and closer to myself. I know that the future probably has many pitfalls waiting for me, but B"H I have my Rebbe, my Doctor and this site to get the help I need. The desire to still get online and surf from site to site is still really strong. But it is overwhelming to think how much the y'h can seduce me into soiling my neshama, even at the risk of losing it all - my wife, kids, job, friends. Never do I want to be so low again. I am starting to feel clean and healthy for the first time. The fact that I am laying the foundation to a pure and clean life is such an amazing inspiration for me. I never realized that by keeping away from this garbage I can feel so good about myself. I guess the way I am thinking and acting recently has enabled me to be a proper and clean "kli" to accept Hashems help.