Sunday, 08 April 2012

Full Realization

by Shomer Bris (See all authors)

I would like to bring you a beautiful e-mail I received from someone who identified himself by the name "Shomer Bris":

Dear Guardureyes,

I am writing in regard to a recent email I received about your site. I happened upon your site a few months ago, but when I went back onto the site due to the recent email, I was hit with the full realization of just how special your site is. This incredibly important mitzva of shmiras habris requires all the publicity it can get. Unfortunately, due to the taboo nature of the subject, as well as the embarrassment in discussing such issues with friends or mentors is just not possible for some individuals. Your site has changed that. There is now a place for people to get help in this very difficult and important area. By promising anonymity for those who are undertaking work in this area, you have enabled them to reach unimaginable levels..

Shmiras habris is an area of my life that I have been working on for a long time, some times with more hatzlacha, some with less. About six months ago, I read a book called The Light of Ephraim, which is available in many sforim stores and online as well. This very readable English book explained every facet of this important mitzva, from what the exact nature of the sin is, how to target it and just how special being shomer habris is. Baruch Hashem I have been completely clean since that day.. It was not and is not easy by any means. But hard work really is the only way. The changes in my life have been immeasurable, as of the first couple of weeks of this undertaking. I will not go into detail, but for those of you who have done the same, you will agree. For those of you who are just starting out, keep it up, you will soon find out for yourself.

How did I make it this far? At the time it seemed impossible but, Baruch Hashem, I have a few friends who realize the importance of this mitzva as well. The six of us are unmarried bachurim, currently learning in a prominent yeshiva. Yes, it is possible to be shomer habris, before marriage and after. Together with my friends, we formed a group based on the idea that this is an important focus of our lives. We meet once a month to stress the importance and beauty of what we have undertaken, and also to make some pledges. The rules of this group require that if one falls chas v'shalom, we are required to inform all other members of the group and to pay a fine of 500 dollars to the tzedaka of our choice. The number is arbitrary and serves as a number that is a significant amount, yet doable. The members have managed to be shomer habris from one month to six months, as of today Baruch Hashem. Your amazing site offers many aspects of our group. Perhaps in the future a system of fines and rewards can be implemented as well. It all starts with accountability. If you have to answer to someone, it will be that much easier and becomes that much more real.

So where are you holding? One year? One day? Whatever it is, you are doing an amazing thing. In today's day and age, at times it seems impossible. IT IS NOT. Don't kid yourself. It will not be easy, but how committed are you? I challenge all who read this to try it for themselves. You can do it. Believe it because it is possible. I would suggest reading The Light of Ephraim and to spend some more time using all the great features the Guardureyes site offers. Get started now. Get an internet filter. Put in a password you won't remember. Commit to it fully. This will not be enough. You must make your own guidelines, but it's worth it. Tfilla/Prayer is ultimately the only way to really make progress. As we all know, unfortunately it is no simple task on our own, some of us have been trying to stop for many years. It's scary how strong the hold is, isn't it? You wouldn't believe what some sforim say about how difficult it is, but so much better for all of you who pull through. And you will. Ask G-d for his help, in regular tfilla and spontaneously throughout the day. You might have to beg for months. It is said that anything worth doing is not easy and it is certainly the case here.

I'd like to mention that R' Chaim Kanievsky points out in his the first volume of Krayna D'igrisah that anyone who keeps away from these forbidden pleasure is promised to receive the pleasures of life from other areas instead. Is there anything you are waiting for in your life? It's on the way as soon as you make progress in this area. Try it and see for yourself, the top spot of the wall of honor is waiting for your name.

Hatzlacha Raba. May Hashem help the creators of this site to continue to spread the importance of this mitzva, and to everyone who is working on this area.