Monday, 29 May 2017

Hashem Helps Those Who Help Themselves

By "Hashem Help Me"

by GYE Member (See all authors)

Someone asked member "Hashem Help Me" on the forum:

Apparently, you are not a youngster, have been using masturbation for many years, you came to GYE, went cold turkey and stayed clean. That's very impressive. Can you share with us how you achieved that?

"Hashem Help Me" replies:

Yes, Boruch Hashem and bli ayin hora, it is true. It has not been easy all the time. I completely credit GYE with all its tools as the cause of any success I have seen. The constant chizuk - emails, forums, shiurim, advice, articles - along with Taphsic, etc. have all been beneficial. The single most powerful tool has been the ability to actually speak to real people (who I met through GYE partner programs and chat) who have gone through this themselves. I speak almost daily with a very special individual who is clean over 1,000 days (to whom I will be forever indebted). From time to time, I speak with Dov, and I have also spoken and corresponded with Yaakov from GYE. Also, thanks to GYE, I shared my history with my wife after carrying it around for so many years as the big black secret - which creates so much stress. She handled it in a way that was a dream come true. Complete understanding and moral support. During those first horrible weeks of withdrawal and self-imposed celibacy, she was completely there for me. (Be advised - it is not always wise to share with the wife - seek proper guidance).

One piece of advice I humbly share. To make this work, go to the extreme with shmiras eynayim. Take your glasses off after a chupa when you have to go through the lobby. Use a "dumb" phone, and have an extremely filtered tablet/computer for internet needs. Basically, wherever possible remove the potential of nisayon. (After reading this, you may think I am a nutty fafrumte guy. I am actually pretty normal...).

Where did I get this idea from? Also from GYE - I read in amazement people's testimonials (and from the way they write, they don't sound like right wing fanatics to say the least) how they keep their eyes on the floor, avoid certain business get-togethers, deal with simchos, etc.

I daven that Hashem gives me the syatta d'shmaya to continue in getting closer to Him with kedusha v'tahara. And may He help you and the rest of the chevra. too.