Torah Tavlin For Addicts?
I have just started a clean streak for the first time on GYE last week while my wife was overseas. Today she returned home, and today was my most difficult so far -even though my wife looks like a million dollars. The Gemara teaches that the yetzer should be brought to the beis hamedrash not to the chupa. Sorry guys, but the only solution is Torah.
Well, I for one agree with this fellow, that true love beats the heck out of looks without true love. The prettiest thing I can ever see in my wife is that she truly loves me (not necessarily approves, but loves me) totally and unconditionally.
Mutual love also seems to naturally grow out of living together with my wife while I am free of the bonds of lust.
But by the same token, while the answer to living free of the tyranny of lust must be in the Torah, saying that "Torah is the answer" is ikkar chosair min hasefer (misses the point), just as saying that "seeing the beauty in my wife is the answer to a better marriage" misses the point. The beauty can be there - and so can her love and devotion - but as long as lust is in me, I cannot see it. I could neither see, nor use the answer that is in the Torah, either.
Thank G-d I am sober today!!
Those who know me on this forum know that I know a bit about learning - and trust me - it doesn't help; not even one little bit, for an addict. Addicts need addiction tools, not Torah.
I gotta be honest with you, I have tried the "Torah tavlin" thing, and sometimes it's not enough... Maybe it is just because I'm an addict, or maybe because I'm so farshmutzed... but either way, I can learn for 3 hours straight and then fall 20 mins later...
"Kollel Guy" writes:
You know, I really can say I have had the same experience. Interestingly, some of the worst tekufos in my learning had little or no falls/slips, whereas some of my best tekufos in learning were full of uchy things. I just don't know what to say.