Hi and Welcome Salcho,

Thanks for coming here. I can relate. I have been struggling for about 19 years. I thought that there is no way out of this. BH i came here and since then doing a lot of progress. At this site 1000's have been helped.

My suggestion to you is to read the GYE Handbook, and stay here on the dorum coming back and cinnecting with the group.

wishing you lots of Hatzlacha on the road to recovery.

Hello
I am dealing with a masturbation addiction, I have been doing it practically since I was 11, I tried to quit two times, one about three years ago, and the second one was las week, I was unsuccessful both times. I realized that last week was the most productive week I had in years and I want to quit for good

Hi,
b"H
Hello, I am 36 yo male, live in Poland, married, and blessed with a son who is 15 mo. I am struggling to break free of my internet porn and masturbation addiction, which has been around for years, and because I am trying to be observing judaism (i'm learning for conversion) this is something that is completely against the spirituality and growth...

I often have periods of freedom that can go on for weeks, I grow, I study Torah I do great and then suddenly I slip. Like a nissayon to hard to pass..

I'm researching some internet filters for now (iphone and pc), but not sure where to start. I did buy an e-book called SMART recovery handbook, which is quite informative. Haven't dug deep enough yet thou...

Anyways, glad I'm  here. Feel embarrased a bit.

Great day to evereyone!

m.

Welcome and mazel tov. You have made a wise decision joining GYE. Keep posting and utilizing the other help offered on the site. Find out who is a good down to earth chosson teacher endorsed by your rebbeim. Most are trained in guidance in this area. (I wish that would have been true when i was engaged) It is very difficult to determine from your few sentences if you are an addict or not. If you wrote the whole trith it appears you are not. Either way, you want to iyh break free and approach marriage iyh as a healthy calm and ehrliche individual. Besides the chosson rebbi, you can speak anonymously with some people here. Hatzlocha.

starvingthemonster wrote on 25 Oct 2017 05:00:

Welcome and Mazel tov

WeWe have no idea if we ourselves are in denial; no way we can know about you.

B'hatzlachah on your journey.

i don't consider what i'm going through as THAT serious. i have really good relationships with lots of friends and family.
i do not impulsively lust. 
I honestly don't think i'm addicted. Am I in denial? Perhaps. That's what you guys are here for!

HI EVERYONE,
I GOT ENGAGED AROUND A MONTH AGO, AND I AM CURRENTLY ON A 57 DAY STREAK OF SOBRIETY!!! DOUBLE YAY!!! THIS IS AROUND MY HIGH WATERMARK. I NEVER REALY CHARTED PAST 50 DAYS. I CONSIDER MYSELF VERY SERIOUS ABOUT YIDDISHKEIT AND HAVE A PRETTY STRONG CONNECTION TO HASHEM. 

I HAVE STRUGGLED WITH VIEWING PORN, OR DIRTY PICS ON SOCIAL MEDIA ETC. AND MASTURBATING TO THAT, FOR NEARLY TEN YRS.
THE FREQUENCY BEING APPROX 1 EVERY TWO WEEKS. (IN THE BAD TIMES AROUND 2-3 TIMES A DAY!) I THINK THIS IS FAIRLY GOOD COMPARED TO MOST STRUGGLING SINGLE GUYS. I'M HOPING THAT I AM NOT ADDICTED, JUST A YOUNG MAN WITH 'NEEDS' AND NO MOTIVATION (UNTIL NOW) TO STOP. 
UNTIL 2 MONTHS AGO I NEVER REALLY HAD A SHOT AT STOPPING FOR GOOD, AND THEN I FOUND GYE!!!!
SO FAR SO GOOD. 

I MUST ADMIT THOUGH, THAT I HAVE VIEWED SOME INAPPROPRIATE MATERIAL, BUT VERY EARLY IN THE PROCESS (2-3 MIN IN) I STOPPED MYSELF, BH. (DOES THAT COUNT AS A FALL? NO MASTURBATION JUST ERECTION)

MY KALLAH HAS SPECTACULAR MIDDOS, AND IS GOOD LOOKING TOO. I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE HER. B"H I AM BLESSED.
BUT, I AM ABSOLUTELY FREAKING OUT! I AM WORRIED SICK THAT THIS ADDICTION WILL COME BACK AFTER I'M MARRIED. (NIDDAH OR PREGNANT WIFE OR JUST THE MONSTER INSIDE WAKING UP)
DOES ANYTHING CHANGE, IS IT HARDER OR EASIER? 

I'M NOT SURE IF I'M LOOKING FOR CHIZUK, TESTIMONIALS FROM OTHER PPL WHO WENT THROUGH THIS, TIPS & SUGGESTIONS.... PROBABLY ALL OF THE ABOVE.

One other point I realized today,

My (stinkin) thinkin: an addiction is a deep learning pattern in my brain. So when I look at women and my eyes first see their chests, what I need to do is to retrain my eyes to first look at peoples faces. therefore when I see a women's chest I keep looking at her but focus on her face. This is a trick of the addiction of course. The fact that I think that I could retrain it like this is true, but I can train to look at people's faces by looking at men, when it comes to women it means that I am not really surrending it to Him, because somewhere in my head I still think that I can and I have the willpower to retrain my brain and solve the problem. If I could I would have stopped acting out/ gazing a long time ago. So once I realized that I just surrender it to him and its not my business from then on. Not only does this help me look at their faces when I talking to one like the person she is, but it also keeps it out of mind since it's not MY batttle, but rather its HIS one.

 

Some thinks stink,
Some stinks think,
but the worst kink
is the owner of the stink-n-think...

hi i never properly introduced myself i come from a very yeshivish backround (rosh yeshivas etc) when i was younger, as a kid i found porn in stores etc friends etc basicly since i was 10 11 years old i was warching porn at times more than others ... where ever i was in any yeshiva i found a internet cafe and i would go there from time to time. when i got drunk i would go for hours or whenever i felt the urge. i even remeber once drinking by a kiddush on shabbos and going i was terrible (still am) now i stand 26 + years old married with kids computer filtered to the moon but i still have one struggle which is there is a store about 2 miles from my house that sells porn magazines which have dvds also and i go there and i dont know what to do i even uninstalled vlc player so i cant watch dvds the only was to reinstall it would be to call my filter provider and ask them to download it for me. but still, my eyes are gone and a part of my mind for torah and tefila. my wife basiclly full files all my taavos, obviously if your on this site you know that watching porn has nothing what so ever to do with what type of body your wife has or whether she etc... so although some of my porn exceeds my wifes capabilities of performing them (lesb,,,n porn etc) but i understand that as a porn watcher (i didnt use addict on purpose) i need to focus on the roots. i went today, i feel like garbage hashem just set me up unbelievable chavrusas etc. and this is what i do to him
my only question is, if i watch porn etc but am not motz"z i that a fall?
​as a side question, am i th only one on this site that buys magazines still?  

Thank you, Rob, for sharing. May Hashem always be by your side on your journey. Does praying to hashem a workable solution? I would like to copy what I wrote to a fellow member via email, and maybe you can help me gain some clarity, cause I'm a bit confused. 

This program looks like its doing wonders to those who truly abide by it. I'm not sure though if I understand the underlying concept. It appears that the main idea is let go and let Hashem take charge? Now that sounds really amazing and it is worthy for me to join such a program just to learn to truly apply this truth in every aspect of my daily life. But how does that solve the natural need that is sex? You don't have to be an addict to get turned on after not having sex for a while. It comes naturally. (again, addicts abuse it but normal people have that too, maybe not as often..) So how does let go and let Hashem take care help? I still need to go to sleep every night. My body still wants sex (I indeed can survive without it, but the need is not something abnormal caused by some mental illness).

Thank you so much for listening and cheers to a sober day!

Yankelthefighter wrote on 24 Oct 2017 17:53:

Are you an addict? No clue
If you're like me, start with a filter

If you tell me it's a work computer and company won't allow you to install filters or chrome extensions, pls give me your boss's number and I'll take care of it - thanks

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 24 Oct 2017 04:25:

it's not a definition of addiction - I meant to say it's a sign of addiction

Now you're asking for ideas..

You have many private gye phone numbers?
Start using 1 on a regular basis (and shelve all the other numbers for now) - try 1 call every 2 or 3 days

Thats what id do...

If that were to be the definition of addict then I am not one as I am not getting caught nor o I feel out of control. Also I feel that now my main issues are masturbation and fantasizing looking at porn is in a steady decline on the lust scale b"h

The rope I meant was this discussion and yes I too think I need more than backup phone numbers but I am not desperate enough to make myself even more crazy than I am already to fit more things into my schedule. any ideas ... 

shua73 wrote on 14 Jul 2015 02:09:

There's a LOT of curiosity addicts here
Count me as 1 of them

I take issue with the title of this thread

Until I found a path of recovery for my level of addiction, the only thing that was sure was that "Markz gets to 90 Porn sites, and beyond"
How can you or anyone be so sure of themselves?
Oh, so it's surely a "hope" you have. Well... cord' will tell you that's a 4 letter word

Now here's my free unsolicited advice
Change the Thread title to something like "Help - Shua needs a Minyan" (like your logo)...

Theres at least a minyan of Truckers around here that can help startup your Truck - free of charge of course ;-)

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 23 Oct 2017 17:41:

As dov says people here mix religion into the addiction equation, and it's like mixing wrong ingredients in a batter
So, many will say it has to do with the severity of the sin, but if that's the case why is there Alcoholics Anonymous

1 example of Addiction is being outa control, e.g. getting caught

> Im not sure having backup phone numbers to call is any sort of rope or program at all...