hi i never properly introduced myself i come from a very yeshivish backround (rosh yeshivas etc) when i was younger, as a kid i found porn in stores etc friends etc basicly since i was 10 11 years old i was warching porn at times more than others ... where ever i was in any yeshiva i found a internet cafe and i would go there from time to time. when i got drunk i would go for hours or whenever i felt the urge. i even remeber once drinking by a kiddush on shabbos and going i was terrible (still am) now i stand 26 + years old married with kids computer filtered to the moon but i still have one struggle which is there is a store about 2 miles from my house that sells porn magazines which have dvds also and i go there and i dont know what to do i even uninstalled vlc player so i cant watch dvds the only was to reinstall it would be to call my filter provider and ask them to download it for me. but still, my eyes are gone and a part of my mind for torah and tefila. my wife basiclly full files all my taavos, obviously if your on this site you know that watching porn has nothing what so ever to do with what type of body your wife has or whether she etc... so although some of my porn exceeds my wifes capabilities of performing them (lesb,,,n porn etc) but i understand that as a porn watcher (i didnt use addict on purpose) i need to focus on the roots. i went today, i feel like garbage hashem just set me up unbelievable chavrusas etc. and this is what i do to him
my only question is, if i watch porn etc but am not motz"z i that a fall?
​as a side question, am i th only one on this site that buys magazines still?  

its considered a fall for the GYE rules of the 90 day chart of honor - the thing is we need to know where lust is for us and work on rooting it out..
While it may not be a 'fall' for you today, as you grow through this site and in recovering from this issue you may consider it a fall in the future..
Re: your side question - do they still have those? :-)

yup fo rme

Its great that you are not motzi zera. That puts you way ahead of many of us. Now lets get you off of porn. Stay connected with the oilam here. Hatzlocha.

just fell

Sorry to hear. Maybe you would like to reach out and speak with someone.

heyyy almost 50 days in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mazel tov! In yovel all slaves (and thats what we were) go free! Hashem should give you continued hatzlocha!

Wow that's great. Keep it up! what steps have you taken to get here?



 Love Yankel!

Congratulations on your 49

well - i have a deal with a friend of mine whoever falls - 1000 dollars. but most of all alot of talkong to people on here and friends constantly - the main priorities are obviously tefila and hard mussar