my name is yoda (annonymous name)
I have been struggling with porngraphy for more than 15 years.
It is a normal addiction I suppose but, for religious people it is a sin.
It keeps us away from god, friends, community and so on.
I don't have a solution to this particular problem besides getting married and have family - since it will force be to have some kind of accountability 
for my sins.
I know I wasn't blessed with a high IQ that allows you to focus on mathmathics and other topics.
It is very hard for me to concentrate in general maybe it is because of tech, or other things. I don;'t know/

Baruch Hashem, one month down!

I have been checking in daily to update my status and that is helping a lot.  My daily morning alarm to come here reminds me that this battle is being waged day by day, and I can fall at any time.  I've gotten this far before and I'm by no means coasting.

A major piece of the puzzle has been realizing that I have an internet "addiction" as well. I'm not prepared to say it's truly an addiction like P & M but it's a serious problem.  I would stay up till 2am on the computer and of course it's inevitable what kind of content I would encounter.  So I've been taking nedarim for that problem and limit myself to 45 minutes per day with a countdown timer.  It's a balance.  Really, I should learn to live without instant news updates and mindless videos entirely but I'm not there yet.  A tight time window keeps me browsing very fast and hopefully looking away very fast from what I'm not supposed to see.

Very true it may be hard to believe but for someone who has been "addicted" for years and then stops cold turkey after some time Everything is a trigger (no more target for me IMY"h) 

Hello I joined GYE in the end of February. Since then my M problem didn't change much. I almost finished the f2f course and have only one course left which is less relevant to me rn(the life satisfaction one while I have set goals and motivations). Anyways I keep using the SOS tools and other tools but it just doesn't help. I view unfiltered content(not P most of the time) and it triggers me to act out. I fall something like 3 times a week and it's just depressing because I thought at this point the situation would be much better. I think in my case it's more of a habit than a physical urge or addiction and it's just frustrating. Anyone with advice how to get clean? P.s I managed to stay clean for 2-3 months before few years but I keep falling constantly and right now my best streak is only a week or so. What should I do?

Anyone know anything about "Addictive Voice Recognition Technique" and wants to summarize it for me?
Is it anything more than what F2F calls finding the fox? 

Hopingforbetterdays wrote on 02 Apr 2024 02:13:

Keep reviewing the techniques.  A little bit every day will ingrain it in you. The best time to strengthen and prepare yourself is when you don’t have strong urges.  Preparing now can save you a whole lot of grief later…:

Hopingforbetterdays wrote on 02 Apr 2024 02:13:

Hi

First ,congrats 188 days is incredible.
I don’t think you should be concerned that you don’t have strong urges etc. It’s  a huge brachah that you don’t have to deal with the terrible nisyonos some of the guys here deal with. Definitely don’t worry about utilizing the program. It’s like saying you want car trouble to use your AAA , or get sick G-D forbid to utilize all that the healthcare benefits insurance has. Be proactive, take steps to be ready to deal with a challenge if it does ever come. But don’t look for a fight so to speak.

Hi i joined the GYE program Jan. 15, which is 188 days ago, I learned the techniques how to help my addiction and very much devoted to get clean and live freely on the right path staying focused and vigilant to my problems, confident in my goal it would work to bring me to ever lasting freedom

My question though is: ever since i started my journey on GYE i never had an urge or downfall, which means I cant really utilize the tools and guidance I get on the program, which I think would very much help me in real life situations, anyone with any idea for me?

I'm no expert in addictions but if you cant go thru your day w/o alcohol/drugs a person is a addict. Seems like you have the same worth mast****. Please correct me if I'm wrong 

Vehkam wrote on 29 Mar 2024 22:12:

WOW!
 commitment to learning may just be the KICK OFF, to get me at least to want, to want to sober up.
i do understand that learning may/will not cure an addict,
but there is a point that בראתי יצר הרע בראתי תורה תבלין atleast to WAKE ME UP!
your whole story, and this learning torah point is MIND BLOWING, for me.
hashem should bless!

Heeling wrote on 29 Mar 2024 14:50:

Bro, I'm cargo shipping so hard there's not a bridge in the world that's safe right now. 

Kulo alma modim that chocolate is the hardest addiction to kick. 

remaininganonymous26 wrote on 27 Mar 2024 13:34:

A courageous fellow looked up at the summit and planned out his climb up the mountain. As each day progressed he accustomed himself to the challenges of the unpredictable terrain. After 100 days of climbing he lost his balance and slipped into a ditch. As he sat on the ditch's edge bandaging his wounds, he had an opportunity to enjoy the views and fresh air from this high altitude. "I guess i could give up and head down, but that would be foolish." So after resting a bit, he studied the area to determine what caused his slip and developed a plan for the next time such a challenge arose, and headed on to day 101 of his climb.

Buddy, you are a hero. Determine what the triggers were, make a plan, and keep going. Hatzlocha!

Hi, Thanks for asking!
Purim was amazing had a great experience and a wonderful seudah with the fam.
But I did have a slip up...
Basically I met with a therapist to discuss various emotions and we ended up talking about my intimacy with my wife and the porn addiction. After the pre-purim session I came out being very frustrated feeling that I will never understand how to have proper intimacy and will always be under the thumb of lust. So purim night I came home very drunk, my wife was already fast asleep, and I decided to watch a very inappropriate movie. Didn't end up acting out, or pausing to focus on any parts, so I don't count it as a fall but it still was a slip.
I talked to the therapist about it and now I feel much better about intimacy and have new hope for the future.
But one thing which watching the movie triggered was a realization that I really enjoy watching movies, not just for the inappropriate content, but I enjoy the entertainment. But it's not something I want in my home or in my life. Is there some replacement entertainment or do I just have to be soveil not having entertainment for the rest of my life?

I had a major fall the other day. I was bored and stressed, and I saw it coming, but I didn't want to take a taphsic because I felt it was important to practice fighting the urge rather than just pushing it away with a taphsic. 
I'm not sure what to think. BH I made it to over 100 days, and I accomplished so much in that time. Also, I was able to pick myself up after the fall and keep on fighting. I am trying to improve my filter (but you cant filter an addiction...) and more importantly working on myself to make sure that this does not happen again.
But at the end of the day, this was a fall after a long period in the clear and it's upsetting. The yetzer hora tells me all sorts of things- I'm a bad person, I will never fix this, just give up. Trying to stay positive, hoping you guys have some advice or words of encouragement.

Wow, what a story. I think one of the things we can take out from this is that right at the beginning of our struggle we need to be clear and upfront with ourselves about the core reasons for our fight, each person respectively. A lot of people turn to porn as a 'drug' or distraction from a situation or an emotional conflict going on in their lives (albeit sometimes due to the porn addiction itself). Everyone needs to really clarify their value system (as done in the F2F program) when they want to fight this addiction, as it usually is a big change in your life and the way you have been living until now.
As for Pickamoniker, I wish you much Hatzlachah in your life, wherever it may be. I see that you have rejoined the GYE program, and when I am writing this post, you are on a 150-day streak!!! I hope to get there too - I'm at 53 right now...