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"Proud" to be in SA
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"Proud" to be in SA 03 Mar 2019 04:40 #339335

  • escapeartist
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I was chatting with a fellow on GYE, a Tzaddik valiantly battling a very tough יצר הרע. As he seemed to be struggling more than average, I sent him the SA 20 questions to help him decide if he needs that route. He insisted that's not him, and then mentioned how tough it must be for me to hear that he can just have his "fun" when he decides to, but that it doesn't "control" him, as it does an addict like myself...Whoa whoa whoa.Listen צדיק, I respect your decision that you can take care of yourself; I hope & daven that you'll be okay. But please, don't go feeling bad for ME  that I'm an addict who needs SA...
I'm in a place where I can really believe that I have an illness, & I'm not just a weakling who can't control his תאוות.
I'm in a place where there is a proven מהלך to help me through my struggles.
I'm in a place where I am making some of the closest friends I've had in my whole life. True friends I can share my darkest secrets with, who understand me, never judge me,  & are there for me in my time of need.
I'm in a place where I can meet people I look up to & respect, people who live with such serenity & faith in הקב"ה. People who had similar struggles to mine & overcame it.
אחרון אחרון חביב, I'm in a place which promotes (for me at least) קירבת אלקים. As a frum yid I've always tried feeling a קשר to Hashem, but more often (-way more often) than not, my insane craving for lust got in the way. This is a place where I'm actually utilizing my illness to force me to come closer to the Eibishter. This is not סתם a מוסר סדר. For me, it really feels like a matter of life & death, I'm working with a חבורה, w/ a very systematic approach, & I have my own personal משפיע I speak with almost daily. My greatest weakness is becoming my greatest asset...
I really feel this way. I was trying to figure out why my first-step work wasn't making me feel lousy, rather it gave me kind of a proud feeling. It's not that I'm proud of what I did; it's that I'm proud I belong. The greatest feeling was when my sponsor finished reading my inventory & said "yep. you definitely belong here!".
So don't feel bad for me. I'm happier & stronger than I've ever been, & I beg Hashem to continue helping me & all of us with our struggles!

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 03 Mar 2019 04:52 #339336

  • imeinanili
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You're an inspiration. Thank you.

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 03 Mar 2019 05:34 #339337

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Are you in marketing ? you give  a great sales  pitch for Sa- make it seem very attractive ...
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 04 Mar 2019 04:14 #339349

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...not trying to sell, just to push some of the guys here who really think they should go, but they don't bec. of social stigma...

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 04 Mar 2019 05:40 #339353

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For all who asked, i am attaching a pic of the questions.
Attachments:

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 25 Dec 2020 05:51 #359707

  • escapeartist
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Hey everyone, been a while... I recently started receiving messages from some old GYE friends so figured I'd pop in to say hi!
Boruch Hashem, I'm still quite happy with my SA program, I've discovered this thing called "Life" & found it to be quite time-consuming...
A holy man recently told me that it's good to stay busy, bec. it keeps me outta trouble. I believe it's punkt fakehrt, staying outta trouble gives me the opportunity to be busy!
I've been far from perfect since joining SA, though by a miracle of the eibishter alein I haven't done a full-fledged MZ"L (-that's a term we DON'T use in SA...) in about 2 years! By my own stricter sobriety definition I consider myself clean for about a month though.
My main push to keep going is knowing that the slightest sip of lust will throw me right back into slavery, everything I enjoy in my life will transform into a miserable obstacle in the way of my acting out, I will be disconnected from my God, my family & friends, from life itself & I will inevitably start taking risks that can cost me all of the above.
I try to pray first thing in the morning that the One Above should help me remember that I NEED to stay clean, even more than I NEEEEEED to act out. May He help us all!

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 25 Dec 2020 06:01 #359711

  • zedj
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Hi E.A!
Thank you for popping in and saying hello and sharing where you are holding.

Please don't escape again.
come back more often to update
More chizuk is always welcome!

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 25 Dec 2020 06:11 #359714

  • yeshivaguy
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Amazing!
Such a chizuk. Keep shteiging and keep in touch!
We can use some more chizuk around here...

Thanks again,

YeshivaGuy

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 27 Dec 2020 04:38 #359790

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Welcome back and thank you for sharing that SA is working for you. May Hashem help you continue being matzliach and having menuchas hanefesh.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 31 Jan 2021 09:54 #362329

  • wilnevergiveup
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EscapeArtist wrote on 04 Mar 2019 05:40:
For all who asked, i am attaching a pic of the questions.

How many have to be yes to qualify?

1 through 10 yes. 12 through 16 yes. 18 and 19 used to be yes and B"H have gotten much better. # eleven I think is complicated being that I am Jewish, and #17 is a little too deep for me. #20 the answer is no.
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 25 Jul 2023 14:39 #399159

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EscapeArtist wrote on 03 Mar 2019 04:40:
I was chatting with a fellow on GYE, a Tzaddik valiantly battling a very tough יצר הרע. As he seemed to be struggling more than average, I sent him the SA 20 questions to help him decide if he needs that route. He insisted that's not him, and then mentioned how tough it must be for me to hear that he can just have his "fun" when he decides to, but that it doesn't "control" him, as it does an addict like myself...Whoa whoa whoa.Listen צדיק, I respect your decision that you can take care of yourself; I hope & daven that you'll be okay. But please, don't go feeling bad for ME  that I'm an addict who needs SA...
I'm in a place where I can really believe that I have an illness, & I'm not just a weakling who can't control his תאוות.
I'm in a place where there is a proven מהלך to help me through my struggles.
I'm in a place where I am making some of the closest friends I've had in my whole life. True friends I can share my darkest secrets with, who understand me, never judge me,  & are there for me in my time of need.
I'm in a place where I can meet people I look up to & respect, people who live with such serenity & faith in הקב"ה. People who had similar struggles to mine & overcame it.
אחרון אחרון חביב, I'm in a place which promotes (for me at least) קירבת אלקים. As a frum yid I've always tried feeling a קשר to Hashem, but more often (-way more often) than not, my insane craving for lust got in the way. This is a place where I'm actually utilizing my illness to force me to come closer to the Eibishter. This is not סתם a מוסר סדר. For me, it really feels like a matter of life & death, I'm working with a חבורה, w/ a very systematic approach, & I have my own personal משפיע I speak with almost daily. My greatest weakness is becoming my greatest asset...
I really feel this way. I was trying to figure out why my first-step work wasn't making me feel lousy, rather it gave me kind of a proud feeling. It's not that I'm proud of what I did; it's that I'm proud I belong. The greatest feeling was when my sponsor finished reading my inventory & said "yep. you definitely belong here!".
So don't feel bad for me. I'm happier & stronger than I've ever been, & I beg Hashem to continue helping me & all of us with our struggles!

It was encouraging to read this positive perspective. Right now I'm not feeling it, even though I'm going to my first meeting one of these days. Maybe it will change after that.

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 14 Nov 2023 02:13 #403618

  • crabapple18
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Figured I’ll pop in here to see what it means to be proud to be in SA. 

I found so many 12 tradition violations here. 
Here to see what works for others and a good shmooze. 
Always here to share my journey N' what works for me. 
Feel free to reach out 24/6 charlesbosgod@gmail.com
One day at a time!
Today is what counts. RULE 62
It’s the first drink that gets me drunk.
“Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future and [a] mystery.Today matters most
One lust drink is too many and a thousand isn't enough.
**Its a part of me, not who I am**

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 13 May 2024 02:58 #413159

Hi,

I need help and someone to talk to please contact me at 
levbasar148@gmail.com

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 13 May 2024 14:00 #413189

  • guardyouriz
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levbasar148 wrote on 13 May 2024 02:58:
Hi,

I need help and someone to talk to please contact me at 
levbasar148@gmail.com

until someone reaches out to you ,why not give it a try and share whats bothering you here on this forum. hatzlacha!

Re: "Proud" to be in SA 15 May 2024 15:58 #413404

I've met guys in SA rooms who are from brand name families who are a walking inspiration. Also know people from other brand name families who are miserable and sufferring because they claim that it did not work for them. 

as it says in the AA big book preamble
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
Hi, my name is ILH and I’m grateful for having to focus just on today. 
Easy does it... I don't need to be perfect. 
If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 
My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once
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