AND ANOTHER ONE ZEMMY:

A SIGN IN THE MIR:

I dreamed of giraffes last night!!!!

(Actually I dreamed about shechting and eating them.... :o :o :o )

i will make sure to activate my plasma shield if i cross any bridges... >  :D

Watch out for Monster Trucks with gun racks  : : :o :o ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

oy vay

Arms Race!!!!  ;D ;D ;D

don't you shecht with a knife  ???

Gesh? you still dropping in b4 purim?

sorry TZ
i started a new job and havent had the time to pop in
How was purim?

things are changing schedule-wise, Im not available to post as often as I used to. Im simply not at the computer as often. So at 3:30 AM when I was tired of tossing and turning in bed, I decided to check in to the forum. Thanks for being there, over a year ago, I would have found something else to do at this time. Chasdei Hashem for GYE.

I'm faced with a whole different work environment than Im used to, although I must admit that in my previous job some of the frum ladies style of dress was just as provacative as Im finding now. BH Ive been doing alot of talking to myself to control the imagination from getting out of hand. For example one refrain that I keep repeating to myself is, "they have no interest in you, why think about them? They see you as a person who they work with, you can do the same!" As I've mentioned before the worst thing for me has been imagination, and my Rav gave me a tool that's been working, BH. "I choose to watch a different show." and i think about something else. so its going well.

I must mention there is another person of the male charedi peruasion there with me, and I noticed his unbelievable attempts at shmiras einayim (who knows maybe he's on the forum as well. I really think that we need to come up with some sort of a inconspicous badge, so we can get chizuk from each other publicly without anyone else knowing what it is. I know this has been mentioned before, I think it would be a great thing. but I digress...)
anyhow I find (and maybe Im wrong, or maybe this is just what works for me) that my present approach is working much better than the ostrich approach, which was much more tension producing (white knuckling as others have called it) and much harder to control. again Im not looking, but its more of an internal mental redirecting. dont know, its just how i feel, take it or leave it.

on to bigger and better things...
toodleooo!

I started reading a parenting book and it was talking about childrens fears. One of the things it mentioned was that "for all healthy adults, there is a thick wall separating fantasy from reality. We rarely, if ever, confuse the two. For preschool children whose minds are not yet fully developed however, the wall between fantasy and reality seems to be almost porous." I think most addicts are preschoolers in this sense. We have a difficult time controlling our imaginations and blur fantasy with reality. It is for that reason for example that I can have expectations of my wife that she will act a certain way even though I know that this situation has arisen dozens of times and shes never act the way my fantasy mind plays it out. I agree that talking to ourselves and reminding ourselves that this is fantasy helps mitigate it somewhat.
Glad to hear you're doing well. Continued hatzlacha.

very much to the point!
thanks, thats lands us back down to reality
thats the milestone of gye

well said urajew
for me that has been the greatest accomplishment here
controlling the imagination
until i got on board i would have never thought it was possible

ur-a-jew wrote on 14 Mar 2012 04:00:


So so true...

Gesher wrote on 14 Mar 2012 02:34:


UPDATE TIME

so its been a challenge at work. summer time is not the greatest as far as tzniyus dress goes.
Lately Ive been doing alot of talking to myself. The idea of "they arent interested in me" started to wear off. Now I've tried another approach: They arent dressing this way to be provacative, they just think its normal.
so i shouldnt take it provacatively. and i shouldnt be provacated! Is that a real word? ???