So am I. I have never heard of anyone really being clean for more than just the one day they are in....

Touche, Dov.

today is day 20!
ya, thanks Ano! havnt seen you in a while!
anyone see any good fireworks?
i learned another 3 letters today!

bh im on day 21.
still taking it one day at a time. the hardest part right now is shmiras eynayim (as we know that once we have that first sip of lust, the craving kicks in) im trying to surrender, about half of the time i am successful in this. looking at my accomplishments and not the falls, so baruch hashem half of the time i am successful.
going to continue working on it.

HashemsSoldier wrote on 06 Jul 2011 02:32:


21= אך = Ach l'rabos.

You are headed to GREAT heights!

today is yet one more day bringing me to day 22.
today has been difficult again, still working on JUSt today. also, sometimes another thought that  helps me is the lashon of the second step that a higher power can restore us to SANITY. this means that the decision that i want to make is complete insanity. i know that i dont want to do it, iknow the pain ill feel after i do it, i know its an aveirah, i have all the thoughts and reasons not to do it. yet i still want to throw it away for 5 min of pleasure......this is complete insanity. and the thought of myself being in a state of 100% insanity helps me connect to the steps.
once i realize that (at the moment of the craving) i dont have sanity, then i understand why i am powerless. im not thinking sane, so in this moment of insanity i cant choose the right thing versus the wrong thing, i cant think about the fture, all i want is the pleasure of this second. when i realize that i am insane, through that knowledge, i jump to the steps.

(after writing all of this i realize that this is why the book starts off telling us that we are sick in head and body. the sickness of the head IS what i just said)

that was helpful.
ok now im going to finish TODAY off.

Keep it up. One day at a time. You need day 22 for day 23.

last night i had a fall,
it  all started a couple days ago when i got caught up in an image, and that set off my "allergic reaction" to lust, till last night when i finally had a fall.
but this is a yeridah letzorech aliyah.
i should have called my partner beforehand but i didnt. i need to work on making the call wehn i need to.
but this past 25ish days are not lost,
although i had a fall, i still have those days under my belt as a chizzuk telling me to get right back up and connect to the program.

today is day one.

KOT and don't look back soldier person.

E

shkoyach ben!
only up and onward.
usually when i have a fall, the next days are very difficult to get back up.
but becasue of hashems help, i am still clean.

keep lookin' ahead! it seems like your mind is in the right place and you've identified what you can do.

8) keep at it.

ok,
today is day 3.
this morning i was suffering from MAJOR withdrawal symptoms since we had a huge thunderstorm and our internet was out and i wasnt able to get onto GYE.
but baruch hashem internet is fixed and i have access to GYE now

btw 2 days ago when i fell and i had to post about it, i forgot to say " FALL SHMALL!" SO IM JUST SAYING IT RIGHT NOW,


FALL SHMALL!!!!

FEHL SHMEHL
BARDY SAYS NUHRSIMCHE
WFFRD
TRUCKKKKK

shkoyach reb echos!

today is day 3.
not much gong on, i already know 15 osiyos
i have 2 more classes this week. ithink 2 or 3 classes next week then ill know all the osiyos and then i need PRACTICE  (im actually pretty good at the ones i know, i just need practice to make sure i REALLY REALLY have them down and consistent) then i need to learn some halacha and then im ready to write a megillah.
so hopefully by the end of net week ill have already started the megillah.
cant wait!