You heal by being honest with urself, knowing that u have flaws isn't good enough everytime u fall u have to reevaluate what made u mess up. By evaluating and subsequently creating or altering ur "defense system" one can grow. I know its hard to win when p*rn is in ur reach but by making it hard to get to or devising a system geared toward wtvr ur particular lust is, this is all g-d asks of us. to put up shields and to show that we are growing. g-d doesnt want us to sit around in our own guilt depressed and crestfallen. We should arise for each day is a new day, and do u think that on t his day u can plan better for the future.

Don't look at this as a war, u have to fight each battle individually and concentrate only on it alone. If u look at lust as a war it will defeat u. Be strong for u are a Jew.

ToAdd wrote on 22 Mar 2011 07:34:


Sunday night you didn't fall, that was the culmination of days of struggling.
"I really can't do this myself anymore"

No kidding.

Fighting with lust is a miserable losing battle that you will not win.

But hey keep on fighting if it suits you.

Or, if your desperate enough maybe you'll start a program that really works.

What a battle yesterday.
I managed to say no, I managed to win the battle when the desire was at its strongest.

"Or, if your desperate enough maybe you'll start a program that really works."

I’m running from the effort. I’m seeking comfort rather than doing what needs to be done.
I’ve lost focus on why I’m here (in the bigger sense).
I need to cheer up. Need some inspiration.
I'm just not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel.
The desperation has been killed by the lack of interest.

Need to get back into my work.

Well, I'm feeling 'normal' again.
Depression is for losers.

Yay, it's Friday.
Maybe I need a haircut?
Feeling like old energy is haning on to the ends of my unwieldy hair.

ToAdd

Haircuts are fun. Nothing like the feeling of tefillin sliding into place the next morning!

Glad to hear that you're getting back to normal!

Thanks SB
I just was not myself last week.

I've been depressed about an old issue that I just can't seem to leave in the past.
How foolish it is to dwell on an old issue that is no longer even a problem.
I've decided to apply the 3 second rule to that too. If it comes into my mind, think of something else...

Tuck, Truck, Truck, Tuck - Trucking.

If anyone see's a mind, it's probably mine, 'cos I've lost mine.

Not so strong today.
Some thoughts just wont leave.

Wow, I just had a very liberating thought:

It's okay to feel hate about someone.
I don't need to feel guilty about hating someone that I may never see again.
It's okay if she hates me, and it's okay if I hate her (Well not her, but what she did).

"Remember what Amalek did to you on the road, on your way out of Egypt."

BH things are going well.
Nothing else toadd.

Hello wAll.

I've had too much caffeine. That doesn't help.
Especially since I'm trying to get my head around a rather technical piece of code.

1 week clean. (okay not 100% clean, but that was too small to count, and I don't really remember what I did anyway).

toA.D.D.

Talking to a wall???

Go to GuardYourWALL.com

Is that near gaza?

BH I've made it to the 8 day mark.
I feel like I just don't need that stuff.
The key now is to keep on not needing it, to keep on not wanting it and to leave the rest in Hashem's hand.

If I stop pursuing it, I'm sure Hashem will help stop it from pursuing me.
I think I've found better ways of dealing with my emotional issues.
I've been more open with people around me.
Finding the balance is not so easy, especially when you're being nudged, but that's what strengthens us.

Hello.

Day 11, Monday.
I'm feeling some Monday urges. Got things to do, don't have time for silly urges...

ToAdd

Day 12.
A little quiet around here

Not in my head though. Some old thoughts returning.
Trying not to entertain them.

Dear ToAdd
All you have to do is think about something else instead.
Think about that new exciting project you're working on. It'll be fun and very rewarding.
ToAdd.

Dear ToAdd: Just don't lose sight of the fact that those thoughts are coming from the RBSO. He sent them to you and He can help you overcome them. Hatzlacha.