Belated thoughts on Parshas Balak

Except for the last 9 pessukim in Parshas Balak, the Parsha describes events that the Bnei Yisroel where completely unaware of while they were occurring. The gemara in Brochos says that the chachamim wanted to be misaken that similar to krias shema we should read Parshas Balak every day but they didn't because of tircha d'tzibura. What is it that is so special about Parshas Balak that it would have a place similar to Shema. I heard from Rabbi Yudin that he says we see from this parsha the chiba that Hashem has for klal yisroel that He will change reality for us (in not getting angry so Billaam could not curse). The question still arises that may justify reading the majority of parshas Balak but how do we explain the last 9 possukim. I was thinking that perhaps the Torah was telling us a message. How was it that the Bnei Yisroel were nichsal with the midyonim? An answer could be is that they were unaware of what the Ribono Shel Olam was doing for them. Had they realized how much Hashem was doing for them "behind the scenes" they would never have been nichshal. Chazal are telling us that really a person everyday has to keep in mind that Hashem has a special chiba for all of us and even when we don't see it Hashem is there working behind the scenes for us. If we keep that in mind on a constant basis it has the ability to save us even from being nichshal barayos.
Thank you Hashem for all the good you do for me. Both what I notice and what I don't notice.

gevaldig!
thanks for sharing

A great thought.
Thank you.

In less than two weeks we will sit on the floor and mourn a beis hamikdash that was destroyed 1944 years ago. Ideally, I would cry and feel pain over this loss. But 1944 years is a long time ago. A Beis Hakidash that I never saw or experienced. And frankly, it is hard to cry over it. It's even harder to "remember" that destruction in my daily living. To somehow recognize that at least for these three weeks I shouldn't be going about my business the way I do the rest of the year. I shouldn't be laughing and joking. It is hard. This morning I realized I have plenty to cry for. I got the ever so slightest glimpse of the tzar heshechina means.
I got one of my friends webchaver reports and it didn't look pretty. The truth is it hasn't looked pretty for a while. It's a churban that is happening now in 2012. It's one the wouldn't be happening had there been no churban 1944 years ago. It's sad and painful to watch. Beneath all of that shmutz is a pained yid who knows that he doesn't belong there. Beneath that shmutz is a wife who cries herself to sleep every night. It is very sad. It is somethuing that I should be and could be crying for.
At the same time I think this is what tzar heshechina may be about. You want to help this person, sometimes by coaxing, sometimes by wringing his neck, for the life he is squandering, to patiently tell him and to scream at him how he is ruining his life and if only he would just give it up, it would be so much easier (even if it may be at times harder). But it's no use, because it simply won't work. He has to take that step and recognize it himself.
No doubt the RBSO looks down at me. And wonders look at the life that he is squandering. Yes, I have plenty of it that I am squandering even if today I managed to control my eyes. All the RBSO wants is for me to take those steps and look at what a beatiful life is wating for me.
There is so much to cry for ... and yet now I just go back to work, back to my mundane life laughing, squandering and all. :'(

That's so true, the only one who can help me is myself - אם אין אני לי מי לי.
Maybe that's why the צער השכינה is so great, it's not the situation or the neighbor's cat that is being מחלל שם שמים, it's me myself and I whit my wrong bechirah.

There is a vort, I believe from the Chiddushei Harim: The Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 1:3) says: It is proper for every G-d fearing Jew to mourn the Churban Bais Hamikdosh. So the kashya is, and what about one who is not G-d fearing? And his answer is, one who is not G-d fearing should mourn his own churban.

MT

Thoughts on Parshas Eikev

If you flip through a chumash Rashi is everywhere. There are few parts of chumash that Rashi doesn't have something to say such. I thought about this when I was learning the parsha this morning and learned through the following possukim:

יא השמר לך, פן-תשכח את-ה' אלקיך, לבלתי שמר מצותיו ומשפטיו וחקתיו, אשר אנכי מצוך היום. יב פן-תאכל, ושבעת; ובתים טבים תבנה, וישבת. יג ובקרך וצאנך ירבין, וכסף וזהב ירבה-לך; וכל אשר-לך, ירבה. יד ורם, לבבך; ושכחת את-ה' אלקיך, המוציאך מארץ מצרים מבית עבדים. טו המוליכך במדבר הגדל והנורא, נחש שרף ועקרב, וצמאון, אשר אין-מים; המוציא לך מים, מצור החלמיש. טז המאכלך מן במדבר, אשר לא-ידעון אבתיך: למען ענתך, ולמען נסתך--להיטבך, באחריתך. יז ואמרת, בלבבך: כחי ועצם ידי, עשה לי את-החיל הזה. יח וזכרת, את-ה' אלקיך--כי הוא הנתן לך כח, לעשות חיל: למען הקים את-בריתו אשר-נשבע לאבתיך, כיום הזה. יט והיה, אם-שכח תשכח את-ה' אלקיך, והלכת אחרי אלהים אחרים, ועבדתם והשתחוית להם--העדתי בכם היום, כי אבד תאבדון. כ כגוים, אשר ה' מאביד מפניכם--כן, תאבדון: עקב לא תשמעון, בקול ה' אלקיכם.

There is no Rashi on an these 10 possukim and I think the absence of Rashi is itself a message. Rashi is telling us that these 10 possukim are simplicity itself. No extra commentary is needed. Having more is not the answer to life's problem. If we have more we forget who gives us all the good we have in life. Hashem put us through the midbar and tested us so that we should know who is our true source of sustenance. It is Him and only him. And if we forget that we are finished.
I have a non-frum colleague, who I've been taking to about daf yomi. He tells me last night as we were leaving, "Urajew, if I win the lottery this week I'll do daf yomi." In these possukim the torah adddresses the fallacy of this view. If you win the lotto, you'll think what a smart person I am that I picked these numbers. I have no need to learn daf yomi or to do anything to get my close to the RBSO I have it made. And Rashi through his silence says this is basic no elaboration necessary.

Thank you Hashem for bring me to where I am to date. For helping through the difficult times and for being with me in the good times. A wonderful shabbos to all.

Sweet, thanks.

It's not quite a bechinah of "kochi v'otzem yodi", but it is a bechinah of "im shachoach tishkach es Hashem Elokecha"...when a person like me finds himself sober for a year, ten years, or twenty years...and says in his own heart that he is healed now.

For "healed" is code. It has only one nafka-minoh: that I can now afford to use lust for fun - use porn just a little, touch myself sexually just a little, manipulate my wife for sex just a little...normal Yidden can do those things. They are not right - but they have the ability to do them - and then maybe regret them bitterly and do Teshuvah. But when I do them, it's another story: my life gets all complicated and messy. I get into a rut and can't get out cuz I keep doing it over and over, or I stay clean but get all nasty to live with, or I get depressed and hate everybody, or worse....it's not fair (whine, whine...anybody have some cheese for this whine?).

OK, enough outa me.

Hey, UAJ, I'm on a bus and hungry and it's getting late on Erev Shabbos. Daven for me, ok buddy?

ur-a-jew wrote on 17 Jul 2012 15:07:


Quite a strong post!!!!

Thank you for the constant inspiration!

It's been a long time since I have been actively on the site. Way too long. Thankfully I'm still sober, but something is missing when I'm not here thinking about recovering. Hope to stay back.

Thoughts on Parshas Lech Lecha:

Reb Yeruchum in this week's parsha that a maymin is one who is anchored and secured. Whereas someone who doesn't have emunah is bobbing through life since he is not attached to Hashem. Reb Yeruchum says this is the pshat in the possukim:

וְהָיָה כְּעֵץ, שָׁתוּל עַל-פַּלְגֵי-מָיִם:
אֲשֶׁר פִּרְיוֹ, יִתֵּן בְּעִתּוֹ--וְעָלֵהוּ לֹא-יִבּוֹל; וְכֹל אֲשֶׁר-יַעֲשֶׂה יַצְלִיחַ.
ד לֹא-כֵן הָרְשָׁעִים: כִּי אִם-כַּמֹּץ, אֲשֶׁר-תִּדְּפֶנּוּ רוּחַ.

A maymin is like a secure tree that cannot be uprooted. Whereas the rasha is like the flimsy leave that flutters all about. I was thinking that it could be that this is the nisayon of Lech Lecha. The RBSO tells Avrohom Avinu to go to Eretz Yisroel when he gets there he needs to go mitzrayim a constant state of motion, all to test him whether despite all the movement Avraham would remain stable and anchored to the true source, Hashem. The nisyanos where given to the Avos to empower us their children when we are faced with these same nisyanos. When we are thrown challenges that threaten to upset our equilibrium we have to remember that Avrohom Avinu threw us a security line in our ability to anchor ourselves to Hashem. For an addict this is gift. Speaking from personal experience, acting out would come when things weren't going right. Something didn't work out "my" way. Our sometimes it was just because I was floating through life, like a leaf just blowing around in the wind. The antidote for this is to attach myself to Hashem. Then even if the wind blows, I know I'm safe. A wonderful Shabbos to all.

Thank you Hashem for being there for me always.

That monk who wrote the Serenity Prayer was on to something!

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."


Or this:

"When I am disturbed it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake." _{(The Big Book)}

beider zachen ez beutiful, thanks UAJ and yosef hatzaddik!

thank you Reb UAJ!
thanks for sharing such good thoughts
and it's good to see you in these parts

ur-a-jew wrote on 26 Oct 2012 15:01:

i'm with you on that

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 26 Oct 2012 15:46:



Is staying back something like those KEEP BACK signs?

:o

בדחילו ורחימו
לגלאה רזין טמירין נחיתנא
Staying "back"
ב"ק בגימטריא אמונה


ZemirosShabbos wrote on 28 Sep 2011 14:19: