Boredom at work has sometimes been my downfall as well.  KUTGP. (Keep Up The Good Posts)

ur-a-jew wrote on 11 Nov 2011 01:04:

beautiful idea, thanks for sharing that

I saw a similar idea posted by Kosher recently.  The possuk says ויהי, כי ארכו-לו שם הימים, וישקף אבימלך מלך פלשתים, בעד החלון; וירא, והנה יצחק מצחק, את, רבקה אשתו.  Rashi on the words  כי ארכו-לו says אמר מעתה אין לי לדאג מאחר שלא אנסוה עד עכשיו ולא נזהר להיות נשמר.  I believe that the Torah is teaching is an important lesson.  There are times when we get too comfortable with a situation.  For example, we tell ourselves, you know I haven't had much problems lately maybe it's not such a problem if I go on the internet and browse (not for anything bad of course) and then before we know it we are in sitting in deep trouble.  The passage of time is not an excuse for letting our guard down.  That is one of the beauties of the daily chizzuk emails.  It's a reminder on a daily basis that we are on a mission and we constantly have to be vigilant even when things appear to be going relatively smooth.  Thanking you Hashem for reminding me of this important lesson.

Megillah Alert Warning Will Robinson:  :

Along those lines, a famous story:

There was a poor man. he was so destitute and suffered for so long until he had a turn in business and got a decent job. One thing led to another and to the joy of his wife and children he became a partner in a growing business. Life was a lot better and no longer were the kids going to bed hungry, wondering how much worse the morning stomach ache would be.

His business was thriving and after a few years he was a wealthy man!

But every year on the day he got that first job, he celebrated with a se'udas hoda'ah and dressed funny for the occasion: he wore the last threadbare shmatess that covered his body that first week on the job. He dressed completely as a pauper in the comfort of his own home at the table with his family and friends, and ate.

They asked him, "mai hai? Why the old clothes?"

He said that he knew in his gut that would he ever forget where he came from, he'd start to believe that he is intrinsically a wealthy person. That he deserves to be rich - that somehow, his being rich is one of the things that is 'right' with the universe.

But none of that would be reality. We are all blank slates without Hashem's Will that we be wealthy (or poor) at this very moment. Nobody must be rich. Just as easily as he is wealthy now, he really could be that same poor guy again.

We are not G-d.

He understood that gratitude isn't just 'being nice' or 'good middos' - it's just plain sanity.

My sponsor told me that no matter how long I have been sober or how long it has been that a fantasy has crossed my mind, I ought not ever say, "when I used to act out, I did thus-and-so..." Rather, he suggested that when sharing my sexual acting out history to help another addict open up, I should always say, "when I act out, I do thus-and-so..." Pretending that I am immune and fixed now, is prideful and irresponsible. It may be true - but I am no one to judge that. Sadly, too many good people like us have been 'surprised' and lost it all after years and years of sobriety and recovery.

And here is another interesting an application of this idea: When I see a pretty woman and become aware that I could feel the real desire to stare and take her into me deeply (like mountain air) and use her in my mind...some would whine, "Gevalt that's so tomei, it's evidence that I am a shkotz. How could I still be having those thoughts?! It's the first day of Pesach and the seder was so uplifting! Yet here I am with this trash?" But I do not do that, cuz my sponsor taught me by example. He reacts to the deep disappointment he is tempted to feel over a stray desire (no matter how vivid), with this: "Well, what do you expect from a sex drunk, and addict?! From a guy who lied to everyone for decades, desperate for sex with himself or others whenever he could, for years and years? Nu. It's amazing that I am still sober, at all! Boruch Hashem!" ...and to let the lust and regret over the lusting all go. Drop it humbly. Who am I to be prideful now and cause myself to become sad, c"v. Madreigah pride is terrible for addicts. Walking humbly with my G-d as someone who doesn't deserve to be counted, at all - now that works for me.

Thank you UAJ for that great lesson and thank you Dov for Megilas Antiochus Will Robinson, both very well-put

Sheesh. Thought I was the only geezer here - how old are you, man? (a t'meehah kayemess, not a real question)

not sure why you ask but suffice it to say that i can vote and drink but not retire

Have you ever tried voting and drinking at the same time? It seems to be in vogue, of late...

personally i don't like kool-aid, only petel

Yes, thanks UAJ and dov.  That is one of the many benefits I get from GYE.  I sometimes feel like I don't need all this stuff.  I'm pretty ok, right?  Those times are dangerous for me.  Being on GYE helps me have less of those moments.

Dov, one of your shortest megillahs ever.

dov wrote on 24 Nov 2011 04:02:

Excellent point.  This is one of the biggest things I've learned here.  The reason I am so disappointed in myself and feel down etc when I fall is because of my expectation to be above it.  When I realize that I am not above it and lower my expectations.  Not my standards, but my realistic expectations of myself,  I have a much easier time. 

I realized a lot of this from what Dr Sorotzkin says about perfectionism.  Getting more in line with what is a reasonable expectation from myself, and not needing to be "perfect" changes the whole game.  The difference this small chage in attitude can have is amazing.  I guess it's also why we need to keep admitting the truth about ourselves to safe people.  When we don't - gaavah/complacency sets in. That is a very dangerous place to be.

Wow, thanks. I did not see that in the Doc's words and will look into them more when I get the chance bl"n.

Gut Chodesh!!

I'm not sure what you mean.  The doc just spoke about what you call "getting right sized".  I made the leap that somehow admitting our frailties helps us to do just that.  It's my own chiddush as far as I can tell.

gibbor120 wrote on 25 Nov 2011 14:37:

This is what I didn't see in his stuff, but you did, so I thanked you, that's all.

oh, then you're welcome .