That's why we have trucks here!

Good Shabbos to all.

I saw a wonderful piece from Rav Zilberstein this week.  Below is my translation and a copy from the sefer.

From Rav Zilberstein.
"A persons eyes were given to him to see helpful and permitted things. How foolish is it that people use this wonderful gift that they received from Hashem to anger and incite Him by looking at things that it is ossur to look at.
A Talmud of a certain godol commented that an incident that influenced him tremendously in this area more that many mussar shmuezzen was the day he entered Yeshiva. His mother accompanied him and she was speaking to the Rosh Hayeshiva. This bochur was sitting there and he noticed that although the Rosh Hayeshiva spoke pleasantly and respectfully to the boy's mother he never looked at her directly.  Said the bochur this incident had a tremendous influence on me and made my own shemiras eiynayim easier.
Continues Rav Zilberstein. The possuk in Shir Hashirim says "your eyes are doves"  explains the Radak your eyes are like a dove who only look at their mate. Am Yisroel is compared to a dove and they have to strengthen themselves and conduct themselves like doves and only gaze at their own mate.
When a person strengthens himself in this area he demonstrates a mesiras nefesh to Hashem. Because everyone agrees that a person who wants to be careful to constantly guard his eyes needs mesiras nefesh.
In the times we live this is not simple!  But a person should understand that precisely for this reason we have to do this out of simcha for a mitzvah. And from a desire and striving to cause a nachas ruach to our Creator.
Any yid and certainly one who was raised on the knees of Torah and learns throughout the day wants to be able to be mossur nefesh to Hashem. At the same time a person has to realize that mesiras nefesh is not limited to being burned on the stake r"l. A yid who goes down the street and is confronted with a disgusting sight one that the delicate and refined soul of a yid is singed from and he turns his eyes from it and he strengthens himself not to look in this too there is mesiras nefesh for the honor of Hakodesh Boruch Hu. Because only Hashem understands how hard it is in our generation to keep and guard our eyes in kedusha.
Furthermore, when a person goes in the street and he invests energy not to look at things that it is ossur to look at he can do this without people seeing. And then his connection to Hashem is even stronger. Because its between Him and Hashem. Only he and Hashem are witness to his actions.
No one saw how he lowered his eyes in order to avoid an improper sight. No one except Hashem.
And with this a person establishes a strong bond with his Father in heaven.
When a person approaches shmiras eiynayim with this attitude, with a pure approach like this the subject takes on a completely different character.
In place of practicing shmiras eiynayim in a depressed and anxious state that is unhelpful and contributes nothing to the issue, and in fact can result in the opposite of the desired result, it is far better to resolve to guard your eyes out of simcha and joy with the knowledge that your through his you are strengthening your hind with your father in heaven.
The principle that should accompany us when we go in he street is that "only Hashem Yisbarach knows how I am being mossur nofshi in order to guard the kedusha of my eyes and its purity."
The benefit from this attitude is that we take Hashem with us everywhere.  Mesiras nefesh of this sort causes Hashem literally to be with us and since this is so and in the zechus of this great mitzvah of shmiras eiynayim He will guard us in greater measure.
I have heard says Rav Zilberstein from those who have chosen this path and they were very matzliach.
Finally when I turn ky eyes to the side (to look away) I don't have to turn my head only my eyes. And who sees this?!  Only Hashem!  And only He knows how hard it is in our generation!  One cannot fathom of describe the reward for such mesiras nefesh."


Thank you Hashem for this wonderful lesson and may we all be zoche to keep to it.

Thanks UAJ for another nice piece!

ur-a-jew wrote on 19 Sep 2011 15:52:

awesomemoirediggevaldig!
thank you Hashem for sending UAJ our way to bring out such pearls of wisdom

and thank you UAJ for helping me so much
if i had the money i would buy you a golden flower pot

Why I say thank you when someone reaches out to me. Someone once asked me this why are you thanking me when I tell you my problems. I explained to him that your reaching out to me helps me as much as it helps you. Recently someone was telling me how he writes notes to his wife but she doesn't always acknowledge them and he doesn't therefore have such a cheshek to do it. I explained to him the problem is that we usually have an image how our spouse should react (usually its something along the lines that they should be falling all over us) and when we don't get it that way we get upset. But our wives brains are programmed differently. And they certainly appreciate being thought about even if they don't react in a noticeable way to us. (Kind of similar to the way we may not say thank you for every little thing that our wives do for us even if we are appreciative of them doing it).  I thought of this conversation today. On erev Shabbos I had left my wife a creative and cute  series of notes on the bathroom mirror which I then changed last night and again this morning. My wife said nothing about it and I was certainly bothered by it. It probably didn't help that I felt she just was not attuned with me either. So when I walked into the bathroom and saw the whole thing in the garbage I needed a plan. It was then that I recalled the conversation mentioned earlier. I assured myself that even if my wife said nothing she appreciated what I did and I just had to give her the benefit of the doubt as to why she had said nothing. Not less than five minutes later I get a phone call from the Mrs. saying I just wanted to thank you for all your notes they made me laugh each time I saw them. I really appreciated them.  The moral of the story when we take actions to show appreciation to our wives its appreciated whether or not we get the feedback we are anticipating.  And when we help others we help ourselves.
Thank you Hashem for these wonderful lessons (and thanks to the person who reached out to me you know who you are).

its a very good point

we so often do thing ONLY for the expected outcomes

what a sobering thought

thank you UAJ for that great lesson!

and thank you to the guy who knows who he is for facilitating that

and btw, i have a coupon for staples: $10 off $20, do you think i should stock up on post-it notes? i can ship some to UAJland if you need

what do u get when u put sticky notes on your wifes mirror?

sticky make up!

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 25 Sep 2011 20:39:

You could sell them as a pre-rosh hashanah GYE fund raiser!

K'siva Vchasima tov, chaver.

There is a tefilla from Reb Sadyah Goan in today's selichos שכחנו את טובותיך which goes on to lists a host of wrongs, including ולהבלי העולם הזה נהבלנו  ואל רהבים ושטי כזב פנינו  but it all starts from one thing שכחנו את טובותיך we forget the good that the RBSO does for us.  If we take the time to focus on the good we have that the RBSO does for us on a constant basis it will head off a lot of our problems.
The Chofetz Chaim at the end of Shemiras Haloshon says that person should take a few minutes every day to focus on the mitzvah of Ahavas Hashem by thinking about all of the good that Hashem does for him.  He states that just because its a constant mitzvah does mean that we shouldn't set aside a special time for it.  If we are looking for a kabalah for the coming of the year a three minutes gratitude seder in which we focus on how much we have to be grateful for and how much the RBSO does for us for which we can never repay him is something that can turn a person's life around.

Hopefully, I can at least accomplish that this coming year.

Thank You Hashem for a wonderful sober year, and thank you to all of the chevra here for help making it happen.

Ksiva V'chasima Tova to all.

ur-a-jew wrote on 25 Sep 2011 17:52:


JUST THINKING OF ALL THOSE COLORFUL "POST ITS" THAT HASHEM PUTS UP ALL AROUND US THAT WE SO OFTEN FAIL TO NOTICE..

Some reflections on Rosh Hashana: 

One of the good things about Rosh Hashana is that I have all the time I want to daven and I can actually reflect on some of the things I am saying.  There are certain things that we say all the time, that I was thinking that if I took the time to focus on it for a couple of minutes a day, it would have to chage me.

For example, the word "Elokim" as translated by "Pathway to Prayer" means:  "The master of all strength who is able to do anything and who guides over us with divine providence."  If this does not describe a one-stop location for any trouble or problem I may have, I don't know what does.  But knowing it in the abstract is not enough.  Repeating it over and over can help me internalize it.

We conclude בספר חיים asking that Hashem inscribe us all for "chaim tovim" and "shalom."  The "shalom" referred to here is internal peace."  As explained by "Pathway to Prayer""  "for peace within ourselves that we should be satisifed with the materialistic things we have."  Basically in one word a solution to all of our problems. 

Another solution.  We are all looking for that easy way to sobriety.  I don't know if this one is easy, but it's right here in black and white:  כי דורשיך לעולם לא יכשלו ולא יכלמו לנצח כל החוסים בך
"For those who cling to You constantly no evil will ever befall them and those who trust in You will not be embarrased forever."  Chazal are telling us, you want to stay sober here is the solution.  Now at least we know what to strive for.

In that vein of thought:  I once had a Rebbi who told me that every person should have a gehinnom seder.  Take some time to think about gehennom and make it real for you.  The value of this is that when a person is faced with a nisayon which is usually based on foolish dimyonis if the alternatives are just as real to him, he will be able to withstand the nisayon (the baalei mussar call this koach hatziyur).  I thought of this when I was saying וכל הרשעה כלה כעשן תכלה.  Reb Chaim Friedlander explains that evil or cheit is like smoke there is nothing too it.  A person should carry around with him a box of matches, and daily light one up and hold it close to his hand just enough to feel the heat and remind himself that there is a day of judgment and this is what is in store for those who don't keep Hashem's will.  Then when the flame fizzles out look at the smoke rising and just say these words וכל הרשעה כלה כעשן תכלה reminding himself that cheit and all of the lustful pleasures are nothing more than smoke.

As my good friend Zemiros Shabbos just told me from the sefer Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh  "Teshuva is not merely modifying behavior to confirm to torah, rather it is making a relationship with the RBSO."  Here are just a few tips to help to that (I think). 

Thank You Hashem for giving me these insights.

ur-a-jew wrote on 03 Oct 2011 18:36:

I think we have had enough gehennom sedorim (but not the kind you are talking about :-[, we usually think of them as gan eden sedorim... temporarily).  I think that for us, focusing on the negative usually backfires, leads to atzvus which leads to more gehenom sedorim :-[

thank you UAJ for those great ideas and thanks for the honorable mention

here is the Bilvavi referenced. it's from Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh on Moadim, first piece on Aseres Yemei Teshuva. it's kedai to see the whole thing inside if you can.