Hey Nederman. You are, of course, uniquely you, but we are peas in a pod. If you've never experienced real powerlessness, then you have no idea what you're missing. For me it's the beginning of peace, reyshis Chochmah. Before Him, I am powerless. I wish this for you.
Dovy,
Thanks for all the support and reminders. So speaking of having fun, I was whining to my daughter about the joylessness stuff and she had the same idea as you and sent me a list of things to do to have fun:
Sit on the closest garden lawn @ huntington library. I suggest the japanese garden with the red bridge.
Pick 1 favorite spot to watch sunset in your car and try to make it there every few days
List your favorite comedies and watch them all again. They will still probably make you laugh.
Bug tony to send "old jews telling jokes" in a format you can watch.
Make a list of your favorite songs. Make a mix tape. Look at Pandora.com and spotify.com for ability to make mixes, stations and your favorite artists for free. They have jewish music.
Go watch a karate tournament
Play your favorite song and sing along...record for carla!
Same with playing harmonica to your favorite songs.
Listen to podcasts of jewish stuff or about anything really. Jacob, zachary or tony could show u how if you don't already know.
Watch funny youtube videos of dogs doing stupid stuff.
Go to Auntie Leil's beach house and spend a shabos watching the waves and writing in a journal about your favorite beach memories.
Go to Jewish shows,plays, musicals, lectures etc...maybe ask someone in your community to go with you so you can carpool and share the experience...maybe Rabbi andhis wife?
Skype art lessons with carla and watch youtube art lessons.
Play chess in the park
Write poetry
Make your favorite foods at least 1 time a week. Ask someone for help to have them make it.
Watch comedians,standup online, live or dvd. Probably just recordings too. Check out spotify and pandora for that.
Have a lil mini bonsai garden and learn the art.
Listen to a symphony with headphones and zone out or imagine cool scenes in your head that go with the music. Like flying over a city at night or something to play with imagination
Train tova [my dog] to do tricks. Watch online advice/videos on youtube and watch the series "the dog whisperer"
Get a ball you throw from the porch for tova to get in the yard. Sit on porch and listen to/sing along with music while you do that.
Play video games
Talk to happy and or wise people with body issues about how they stay happy. Maybe jonah and how he manages? What techniques he uses?
Do 1 random act of kindness a day. Something random. A card to a strangers mailbox with an inspiring quote. Take a favorite homeless person to lunch and ask them to tell you jokes...buy them icecream. I don't know, get creative
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Scrap book. Make colladges for us kids.
Get a penpal of one of the pen pal kids that need supportive words. Write somone in jail...or send them letters or jokes to make them smile
Linger in coffee shop book stores and read everything you want for hours. Look at art books and photo books so its like a gallery tour & thhe big ones have awesome detail in the photos.
Visit the best do park
Look into a pinterest account for all kinds of interests
do puzzles
Learn local birds and sit and identify them and do bird calls...try and paint them...maybe accompanied with your poetry or favorite quotes. Give as gifts to community people.
Sculpting...there is a kind of material that doesn't require firing to solidify. Pretty cool.
AND............[drum roll] I'm now over two years clean. Looking back is really trippy. What a total mess my life was. So alone and loveless with the only lift in life doing P&M. There is no way to explain to you newer guys the depth and sincerity and meaningful love that pours out of my GYE virtuals. [no, virtualles. Yes, better]. And without them, I'd probably have thrown in the towel. I was pretty close. Sometimes the thought still blips across the radar screen, but it moves right along. To all you budskis, my virtualles, I love you. You've got to get this, you Newbies. I love them. Bezras "H I'm still clean, and I'm going to bed soon, so I'll probably make it to bed clean for today. Be'z "H, I "stumbled on" GYE. Where else can people tell us just what we need to hear, by way of chizuk, support, love and a kick in the pants? Thank you guys. eyn maspikim.