yehoshua wrote on 26 Feb 2018 14:54:

Never had the opportunity to hug an actress.

cordnoy wrote on 26 Feb 2018 19:30:

Here everyone hugs, actors and actresses are like that. Don't they hug at SA meetings? After giving out all your soul, a hug comes naturally, perhaps.

Dov, so that means that I could call from my mobile phone? Or would with a computer? Sorry, for the stupid question.

Not sure what you're asking, friend. Communication by computer w/o voice is still hiding, isn't it? Is the hugging you refer to done by computer? Theres no effective and real connection made at all, as long as a fake name is being used between the two people trying to relate, an unwillingness exists to show my face to you or to use my real voice, to describe the real circumstances of my daily life and life in general. The safety provided by GYE's secrecy is absolutely necessary because GYE is an open, public venue! But once we find each other and find trust, then those same great safety mechanisms become truth-killers, and i suppose everyone here knows it.

So, yes, I think u have my cell. But if u don't, I gave you my email so we can trade numbers there (where it's safe from possibly dangerous onlookers).

Have fun, tovarish, koleszhanko, amigo, whatever!

No no no...

Missunderstood.

I don't have a problem with calling and giving my real name (Miha) and saying I am a lustaholic and a sexaholic. I was just asking because of costs, if there is like a phone number that makes the call cheaper (or even through a computer, that would make no cost at all....). I am from central Europe and I am not sure I would be able to pay for the calls to New York. Sorry, for the missunderstanding and for my money problems.

Other than that. I had keri on sunday. I think I could have prevented it, I went to bed and had this little thought (of being a loser and being a woman in s* subordinate position to others - men, women, my wife). I just let it be, I went like: Ok, ok, ok, let me be, but I am falling asleep. So in my sleep, just sleeping on my belly, I had a spontaneus e*. 
It crushed me, I felt so bad and so low.
I relistened to Harvey Asher on Youtube (SA testimonial). There he talks about the lust thinking. He asks, what is lust? Lust is not the s* acting out, it is what happened before you typed in that word, called that number... And that thinking remains, I will take it to my grave. That is what Harvey says, and I feel the same way, and that is a comfort.

Now I had a fight with my wife, early in the morning. I was on facebook, and saw this woman dancing wildly with a guy. Nothing s*, but I have to give it over to G-d. So anger, lazyness, feeling overwhelmed at work. Hm, I know how it looks.
He will restore me to sanity.

So what is Let Go and Let God?

For me, it means doing all I can and when a thought (lustful or some sort of a destructive thought) pops up, I turn it over to my Higher Power. Which means, I make a prayer: God whatever I am looking in that woman, in those legs, in those arms (my prayer gets as graphic as my toughts), may I find in You, please give me directions. <-this is a prayer I heard on Youtube in a SA testimonial by Harvey.
What does it mean? Do all I can. Well, that is another question, for me at this moment, it's morning Wim Hof breathing (meditation) and cold shower, cleaning, reading, working, and in the evening working out. Living as best I know how.
I think the most important thing is the thinking part. The lust, the negative thoughts (lazyness, anger, feeling overwhelmed, self pity, fear), to confront them when they pop up with that prayer. I breathe in, hold my breath, then release my breath (this releases the body tension generated by the emotion) and then ask for directions: You tell me what to do!

Why am I not sober for years, if I am so darn smart? Only now I am starting to look for God in all my affairs. I guess that is why...

Could it be that  are not sober because you have practically nothing that many successfully recovering addicts have? Your work on gye is to a great extent mainly discussion and philosophical. True commitment and honesty exists in the mind and heart, to be sure. But it is not created there. It is learned only within the context of real, living relationships, not in the mind, nor certainly in typeface. True support works the same way and is found only where facades are removed. Vulnerability - not self-protection - is the basis of the truest, safest, relationships in life. 

You'vee got practically none of the ingredients I have had over the years that the AA's found they needed and gave me. Hashem gave us AA and SA for a reason.  I suggest you do what I did and take these things for yourself. Put down the things that are just substitutes for it, and take the real thing. I joined a meeting of recovering sex addicts after 20 years of playing with honesty. You can do this on the phone at first, but I suggest that getting real friends will be necessary if you want G-d to be real to you one day.

GYE sent a Ted talk around a few years back, titled something like, "Everything you thought about addiction was wrong," and (ironically) it was about the fact that every true change that exists in recovery only happens in the context of real relationships.

Perhaps you musunderstood me in the previous post. It's not about honesty, but openness. If you want a G-d you can really trust, then make relationships with people who you can really trust and cultivate them regularly. Don't let them be virtual - unless a virtual G-d is all you want. Hiding is the way to prevent real change. The fake name thing here is only the tip of the iceberg, the badge of shame one wears as long as comfort is our truest priority.

You can get past that, I know.