completed my 81st day with some difficulty but I am still going strong!

I posted this on an old thread but would like to post it here too. These tips i have gotten from this site, myself, and my parents so I feel I should share them.

I just wanted to add another few thoughts to this now that more than a year has elapsed. coming from a teen I feel that this website is a great tool for teens.

I do however feel that an emphasis should be put on making sure teens know that what they are going through is normal. Normal means that you will feel lust and attraction to girls and do NOT be too hard on yourself (I learned this the hard way) do NOT beat yourself up about it (it doesn't mean that you shouldn't do your best to focus on other things but...again its normal)! Being "normal" means you most probably not addicted to por* and masterbatio* so even though it might me very hard to stop, it is possible, and you can eventually have an easier time with it.

Teens should be encouraged to talk with their parents. Talking with my parents was extremely beneficial to me and I would not be 81 days clean without their help. Parents are not dumb they know what it feels like they WILL understand. Teens should ask their parents to put a filter on their computer and talk about any questions they have. Teens, your parents know you and can answer your questions better than anyone else!

Teens also should be encouraged to post almost exclusively on other teenager's threads or there own, this would make sure that the thoughts and tips people give are targeted toward a "normal", hormonal, healthy teenager (none of the addicted stuff or the "you'll burn" stuff). I hope this is helpful to teens reading it and just as a general thought.

sincerely CA

PS
I am going to post this on my thread Chazak Amenu's climb. If your teen you might want to scan the thread a little. I either did not know or did not pay attention to the advice i give here and landed up in a REALLY BAD mindset but I am doing alot better now and would like to make sure others can benefit too. I am really quite embarrassed by some of the things i wrote and thought at the time but realize that it is part of me growing up and can be helpful to me AND others, that is whats keeping me from digitally tearing it up !  Thank you all.

Thank you.  Your courage and maturity is inspiring.

Thank you. I completed day 82. I am gonna be going to New York for Thanksgiving weekend so I am hoping that will help me get through my final eight days! I am not going to be able to post until Saturday night or Sunday morning but I hope things are still going to be good for me. Thank you all.

So the weekend went well and I am currently trying to complete my 88th day clean. I did slip today while watching a movie on a novel we read but it was very brief and I am doing just fine. I really hope that next time I post it will be because I am 90 days clean and I would like to put up a few tips and pieces of advice (some thank yous too  ;D).
Im Yirtza Hashem update coming in 3 days.

I am officially 90 days clean. I want to say thank you to those who have replied to my posts. I would like to especially thank Dov, 7up, The Guard, Shlomo, Jamie, One Day, DovinIsrael, Britt, Maccabee, my parents and Hashem who is the only ONE who I really owe my 90 days to. I know my journey is FAR from over but this was a necessary milestone. I can't describe how good I feel right now. I know however that I must continue to take this one day at a time. I hope I did not miss any thank yous and if I did know that I have you in mind. Thank you.

You are a sweet yid and Mazel Tov! Now one day at a time is more needed than ever, sir. It really is one day today, not two days. Hatzlocha today.

Mazel Tov!!!!

KUTGW!!!!

Gevura!

Mazel Tov!

mechayil el chayil

wishing you much hatzlocha

Chazak, Chazak, V'nischazek!

Thank you all! I plan on staying on the site but being fairly uninvolved with an update every week or two weeks at a time. I have seen quite a few people on this site who have said they fell even after reaching 90 days and I want to make sure I continue to take it one day at a time and stay accountable. I haven't decided whether I should put up my advice because I didnt do it exactly like GYE endorses. Have a good Shabbos! 

Why remain silent indeterminately? Why not wait till you are given six months, and then put up all your experience (you call it "advice'). You are in this for the long haul, right? Six months more out of your life of many more decades is not that much. Wait calmly and take it easy, chabibi. Hashem will help you to all kinds of better places and chiddushim in yourself and your life, and you will iy"H have much more valuable stuff to share, too. Your perspective will grow with you.

Continued hatzlocha!

Why not?  It might help someone.  If it is a problem they will pull it down and you will only be out the time spent typing.  Which, in my humble opinion, is not time wasted.  In fact it counts for a lot if indeed your intention is to try to help others.
Have a Great Shabbos,
chaimyakov

Ok, so here is my experience (definitely a better way of saying it). First of all I really do not try and think too much about it at all, I ignore it. I don't get angry at myself when I look at a girl to see if she is pretty. I know this sounds weird but I am not looking at the girl "sexually" (as in I did not fantasize about the girl or anything).
If I ever started to fantasize with out realizing it I would never go crazy with davening (I know that any day I stayed clean was from Hashem and if shaking my head helped that was the tool Hashem gave me too help with this struggle) or freaking out I would simply shake my head almost like a dog shakes its body after getting wet. Then I moved on and continued with my life. This was really helpful, The Satan seems to feed off the fear and anxiety.
I did want to stay accountable though so I updated GYE about once a week. If my life centered around staying clean I never would be able to stay clean. At the end of each day I updated my print out 90 day chart and checked off that day. I would mark down if I slipped or had a wet dream. I would also make sure to write if I had a particularly hard day and did not give in. On these days I wrote that I had a major victory. I feel giving myself positive feedback is important as well. Listening to meaningful music was also very helpful for example I listened to the Maccabeats quite a bit, I think this is another simple thing to do to feel inspired and to keep bad thoughts out of your head.
I don't know If I am forgetting anything but if I do I will make sure to add it. Hopefully someone found this helpful.
Have a great Shabbos!

You are describing Keep On Trucking, I think.

I have accepted for many years that one of the worst michsholim to staying clean is the guilt and going nuts over messing up a bit - and even over just seeing a schmutzy woman in the street or having a lust desire. What gayvoh it takes for me to be so stupid to expect anything near perfection for myself! What an insult to Hashem is it for me to assume that he is c"v oblivious enough to expect me not to have lust desires, give my attention to half-naked women that I pass in the street, and screw up a bit once in a while! Hashem is very, very smart.

He knows I am a guy who tends to porn my brains out and masturbate. That it is ingrained in me and that every day that I am free of it is a miracle and wonderful thing.

Sadly, all it takes is for a real good frum guy (with a masturbation habit) to go berserk inside over having seen a very pretty woman or one dressed half-naked, to get all focused on it and eventually guarantee that he'll need to resort to some sex with self.

Add to that a little broken 'kedusha' and 'tahara' fantasy, and you have a recipe for unbearable guilt that will keep the poor guy focused on his lust for hours and days.

Add to that shame, and you have a guy who can't even bring himself to admit it - being such a shanda! - and will not let it go!

And paradoxically, it is absolutely clear that the first drink is the one that always got me in the toilet, not the drink I took that brought me to orgasm! So that first drink is the one I need to avoid. The guys who are always struggling (and continuously 'falling' as a result hear this and get even worse, because they become convinced that super-vigilance is the power by which they will finally smash this yetzer hora! Of course, nothing could be further from the truth.

As you point out so simply, your main inner hanhogah with respect to lust is 1- ignoring it and 2- not getting angry at yourself for noticing she's pretty!

Yes, that is similar to what I was trying to say. So this is my weekly update. I am now 97 days clean  :D.
It feels good I almost succumbed a few days ago but I managed to pass it by. Have a great Shabbos!