I had a conversation with one of the Chevra on here, which gave me great clarity, and I wanted to share.

There's constantly talk on here of when the urges start raining down, call a friend. How does this work, and why?

So a prerequisite to the friendships on here, is self-clarity. If I would be offered to get any of the fantasies that I have dreamed of for years, And I would be offered that today, what would I say? Yes or no?
If the answer is yes, then I am not clear in my agenda and what I want from it, and calling a friend when I do have the option of acting on that fantasy, wont necessarily help too much. I could call a friend but he very possibly wont be able to help me not act out. Because I want to act out.
If the answer is NO, I dont want this no matter what! For whatever reason, I made a conscious decision that I don't want this, then when the urge and opportunity to act out comes up. I could call a friend and he'll help me get back to that place of clarity. That place in my mind where I know what I want, without the Bilbul of the Urge. By speaking it out I'll be able to calm down and decide to control myself.

Now, how do I get to that clarity of what I really want in my life? It can come to you by yourself, or also with talking to a friend who can help you get that clarity.
Some people may have a 'moment' when they realize what they want in their life.

Either way its a must for controlling ourselves.

KOMT!!!

This brought me to tears
vayimaen.us21.list-manage.com/track/click?u=5120bc162ffbbb7d817837eb8&id=b43ca2385d&e=2c9cb76103

The first time I broke the cycle of addiction, it led to mild spiritual progress and enhancement of my Jewish identity. I even found a song with good lyrics...The second and third time (same year) was when I saw even more of a desire to connect to Hashem and other people. While living in Yerushalayim, I found that doing Chesed actually diminished the desire to do these sins...Baruch Hashem that we live in a world where are opportunities to do Chesed.

Also: ages later, from the Yom Kippur, same Hebrew year as October 7th, until Tammuz of the same Hebrew year, I was not indulging in any of these taivos at all which [with the exception of 2 occasions in [i]Chesvan[/i]]. So for a fair amount of time, I was actually making more spiritual progress. Bli Ayin Hara.

And recently, I was able to find a good rental the day after a certain evening when I disabled the browser on my phone. Browsers have been an issue. I didn't use Facebook/similar apps for years...and I don't even use Youtube much.

As it did me... Thank you CM for bringing it to the forefront...

Me as well! And I don't tear up easily. The message, and the one who gave over the message carries so much meaning for me. Thank you for sharing.