Right on as always! Couldn't agree more.

Sometimes I feel that it's just another bodily necessity. And so I eat, drink and sleep... and then I do this. And by not doing it I am causing a deficiency to myself and my body, so I may as well act out now before it gets even worse.

I tell myself from time to time that this is only external and will pass on eventually and then presto; It does!

Keep up the good work and don't stop inspiring yourself and the oilam as well!

Shalom Brother Mendy,
It's good to hear from you!

I don't remember the exact words or where it is quoted, but I think it's a well-known text (BH my memory is improving post all the brain-rotting activities I used to do, but it seems it's a slow process). 

There is a small eiver that a man has. Feed it and it will become hungry. Starve it and it will be satiated.

One thing that this means is that if you allow your cravings to dictate your choices, then you relinquish control reacting to stimuli. I have to do all the things, and there is never an end to the things.

Starving it means I don't let it have whatever it wants. I can say no. I choose when, where, and how. You live assertively and deliberately, not passively along for the ride.

Even when things are really tough, and we might make a poor choice, own it. No one makes us do anything. Accepting responsibility is an essential step towards internal change and being able to stop the thought that anything is inevitable. 
Hatzlacha and Kol Tov

....................Actually

פ"נ
אברהם שלמה בן חיים מענדיל ע"ה
מת בחצי ימיו מתוך חלאים רעים וקשים וקבלם באהבה
מחלייו היו שלא הוציא זרע לבטלה אחר הפגשתו עם GYE
זה גרם לו צער קשה וחולי רע שגרם מיתתו
נפטר מתוך שם טוב ה' אדר ה' תשפ"ה
תנצב"ה

I couldnt resist, BH. Seeing this written out drives your point home....

Day 118

Bein Hazemanim is definitely hitting home, Sometimes in a pretty strong way. 

Adding to the situation is I'm quite stressed out about my Chavrusa situation for the coming Zman. I feel that my Hatzlacha to Kedusha and Tahara this summer zman is very dependent on this. 

Part of my problem is that Ive been rediscovering myself, in all areas of my life, learning included. And I dont have a clear direction to go in.

BUT, this is no excuse. Whatever happens I must stay focused, Stress is no excuse, nor is summer clothing...

I Know Hashem will guide me. Hope the chevra here also gets set up for an amazing Zman of Aliyah.

Kol Tuv

You have such an amazing sense of how to dissect the things that are going on in your life! Being able to zero in and break down what's on your mind is something I wish I can emulate.

Stay strong Mendy! You are our rock!

I was in a bad place last week with ogling on the street, Started TBOTG with accountability. Bh doing wonders.

What was wrong with your life?

mountainclimb wrote on 05 May 2025 18:21:

ביאור?
?cm, how did your chavrusah situation work out@

altehmirrer wrote on 06 May 2025 03:23:

Bh worked out well!
Thanks for asking!

This topic is constantly coming up, I feel the need to write it out to get some clarity.

If before we joined GYE, we would have gotten offered that we would never watch porn again in our lives, besides for once a year. What would we say to that offer? I think most of us coming from the place that we are, would be pretty happy with such a prospect. Going from constantly watching and fantasizing to once a year, that's a winner!
Even if the offer was once a week, we would probably still accept.
But, at the same time when we work on ourselves and keep clean for a year, month or week, but then fall or slip. We beat ourselves up over it, and don't forgive.
Is this our Yetzer Tov Or Yetzer Hora?
In my opinion this is the strongest tactic of the Yetzer Hora. He tells us were not perfect so what's the point? In our society were trained that perfection is the one and only goal. This is totally against the proper Hashkafa.
Yes, we have to want to never watch porn again. Maybe even strive for perfection, but at the same time embrace our imperfections. Yes, we have to want to never fall again. But if we do fall, we have to be honest with ourselves, am I growing in this battle?
If the answer is yes, make a Lchaim, get back up wipe off the dust and continue your avodas hakodesh! If the answer is no, (we may need some outside input to help us know for sure), then we have to change our game plan. But more often than not the answer is yes.

No, I'm not saying to settle for falling, and we cant make it muttar either.

But we do have to know how powerful every second of holding back is. At least as much as were machshiv falling. 

With admiration for all my fellow warriors

אמת לאמתו!!!

Wow Mendy!! U hit it on the head

Day 128.

Had a rough day yesterday. I drove to specific places to get some good 'sights' in.
I had extra time on my hands, so I lusted.
Later I spoke to a friend to speak it out, definitely helped.
I need to find something productive to do with any spare time I may have, i.e. Bein hasedarim/hazemanim. 

cleanmendy wrote on 08 May 2025 11:37:

Brother Mendy,

Speaking to good friends is great (you can do it during spare time too, no need to be preempted by anything). I, for one, would love to connect with you more. Please consider sending me an email or text message next time you are "bored".

As for other specific activities, what do you enjoy? Reading, chessed, writing, music, exercise, talking tachlis?

Your self-awareness and honesty will get you far. Keep rising Brother. Kol Tov.