Starting a new start. I fell and haven’t been working on this. 
tonight starts day 1. I will do everything I can to stay clean today. 

Last two weeks have been atrocious. Have a strong filter so my falls haven’t been I. Bad shmutz but still not proud at all. Bichlal have been  not super busy weeks and felt dragged out. Lead to having a lot of time and eventually falling and barley putting up a fight. Spending time trying to find ways around the filter etc. and not going on gye. A real dip. I know I can do better because I have done better. I’m at the point that I have to call someone I’m going to reach out to the person I used to speak to on gye and hopefully I’ll get back on track. 

Oish...feeling for you brother...

Can you consider also reaching out to Hashem Help Me?
In my few short months here on GYE I've seen and heard of many guys who say that one of there main decisive factors in where they are today was being in touch with the Rebbe Shlit"a HHM.

Have you also considered connecting with some of the oilam here? 
Before you, and anyone else who hasn't done so yet, dismisses my suggestion as totally ludicrous, please consider the following. 

There is obviously tremendous shame and apprehension in reaching out to a total stranger to discuss your most deepest, embarrassing failures and struggles.

Please remember, we all were there too. My personal failure and struggle may have been a slightly different flavor or shade than yours. My battle may have been one of greater intensity than yours. It may have been one of a much smaller degree too. 
We are all on this boat together, and don't forget, it may be embarrassing for me to share my struggles also. (Especially some of the older and/or more choshuve people here, it can be almost too much to bear.)

I do it, as do many others, because it can (and does) help. It is 100% mutually beneficial. As amevakesh pointed out here, and many other have mentioned many times, the power of the real friendships that can be made here is inestimable.
Please take advantage of the lifeline being thrown, and reach out. 
You wont regret it.

Please, I beg you to please consider it seriously.

funbuchur wrote on 11 Aug 2024 19:23:

Definitely reach out. If you want new people to speak to - reach out!

I assume you're on bein hazmanim now? Bochurim (or avreichim) + bein hazmanim = lethal times.

The main issue with bein hazmanim is generally increased access, and less life. Less schedule, less involvement - bein hazmanim often feels like just killing time until the next zman. That's not a healthy state of mind for this struggle. The more involved you can get in living your life the easier it'll be. 
Set some goals, organize a schedule, and live the next few weeks.