Tonight will be two weeks. It's actually been a pretty easy two weeks, mostly because it's been a very busy two weeks.
Something I'm very nervous about tho and I apologize if I ramble here. But I'm going to be starting a new job in a few weeks. It's a great opportunity but I'm probably under qualified for the role, and it is going to be very difficult in alot of ways. (Changing some details to hide myself here but) I've left multiple jobs because of incessant porn watching during work. Unfiltered computer, private office (or even when I was working in a hallway!) and long boring tasks kinda made porn my default escape (in addition to the "regular" porn that comes with me and unfiltered internet). Of course, watching porn instead of working made those unpleasant tasks pile up and become even more depressing, leading to more need to escape into porn. I switched jobs just to get out of the pit. Of course, I gave other explanations, but just leaving seemed to be the only way out of the vicious cycle. I've actually been at my current job longer than anywhere else, but part of the reason I'm leaving here (if I'm being honest with myself) is that I burned some bridges by doing work poorly/late so I could watch more porn.
I really don't want to screw up this new job. But I know it's the type of place that is going to have alot of high-pressure boring tasks. Exactly the thing I used to turn to porn to distract myself and make myself feel better while procrastinating. I've got a few weeks before starting to prepare but this seems impossible.
Trying not to let the future kill my present success but I'm worried.

Advice and suggestions appreciated, but I probably won't be able to log back in until monday.

Does it work for you to listen to music? I know people who do that while working, it keeps the energy. There is a Chrome extension for Jewish music...

Hatzlacha on your new job!!

frank.lee wrote on 05 Nov 2023 23:24:

Not a bad idea. It's been helpful for me before, but it gets too distracting/annoying to keep up.

Long weekend without checking in, which isn't great. I think committing to check in daily has been surprisingly helpful.
Weekend was pretty smooth, I find Friday is either the easiest day or the hardest for some reason. It's not the usual schedule, which sometimes leads to something like "forget it, today will just be a porn day," but if I can get through that then it's a short and busy day so the end of the day is easier. Rest of the weekend was pretty good. I've been very busy and that's always made things easier for me.
Went to a chasuna yesterday. Definitely was hard to control where I was looking. I made a kabbalah before yom kippur that whatever happens I'll do full shmiras einayim from 6-7 (a difficult time of day for me), and I'll keep that no matter what. I recently extended that to 5:30 to 7. I'm not sure how well that would've held up on its own, without trying for 90 days now, but it was actually very helpful at the wedding. I was able to control myself for the first hour just by saying to myself I'll wait till after 7, and then by the time I hit seven the urges had faded a little.

Wow, it's awesome to hear that the kabbalah worked for you! I also find weddings very difficult and have had little success with guarding my eyes when I go (which is why I avoid most weddings, probably not a good long term plan).
Hatzlachah man keep it up, it's very inspiring to read your real down to earth thread.

frank.lee wrote on 05 Nov 2023 23:24:

I would be interested in that . Do you know what its called?

Another day went well. Not sure why it's going so well but not complaining

Pretty good day. I should block linkedin though. Don't need it for work anymore, it's a waste of time, and I definitely caught myself staring at some women who came through the feed.
If I can get through friday I'll be at 3 weeks. Looking forward to that.

Glad to hear it's going well! 
Have you listened to the F2F bit on the 2-3 week hurdle? Just as a heads up there, I found that after around 2-3 weeks of having basically no urges and things going great, I would have a day or two of intense feelings of loneliness/urges which I termed as withdrawal symptoms. It's worthwhile to be ready for it if it happens to you. There is a video on GYE+ (in the "Rise up Again" section) from fortify about it. The basic things which I found helped are 1) Realize that it is normal to feel this way, 2) It only lasts for a day or 2 or 3 at most, it does not last forever and you will feel awesome afterwards when you make it through, 3) a good way to deal with the feelings are to write about them and also to hang out and connect with others which will combat the loneliness feeling.
Hatzlachah! Keep posting and let us know if things get rough and we'll help carry you through!

@redfaced Jmusic I think. 

@Choose... I agree, I need to stay off LinkedIn. Wastes too much time. 

hopefulposek wrote on 10 Nov 2023 01:27:

Thank you @hopefulposek. This is helpful.

Delayed check in from the weekend.
It's been a little rough. No falls yet, but been much more of a struggle.
Also, until now I had a smartphone, but a total internet block from tag. Now I need to get email on my phone. Trying to arrange the most locked down way of doing it, but can't help feeling like it's a bad idea.
Hoping for a good week. At least it's already Tuesday.

Have you looked into getting a smartphone from safetelecom, I had one before that was blocked very well.

hopefulposek wrote on 15 Nov 2023 03:21:

I will check it out. I did look at one of these kosher smartphones and it seemed very pricey. But I guess that's kdai.

Day went pretty well so far. B"h it's been easier than the beginning of the week.