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On the way... Again
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: On the way... Again 3279 Views

Re: On the way... Again 13 Sep 2023 18:48 #401114

  • hopefulposek
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Here is a collection of the things which I found helpful as I scrolled through my calendar of the past year:
1) Sleep is so important, many of my falls were recorder as largely caused by being tired.
2) If you know you will be in a trying situation tell your wife or a friend, not necessarily about the nisayon but simply where your going, the fact that someone else is aware of your presence can help you control your urges and also stop you from taking extra time to "research" things.
3) If you need to go online, do it with someone else or in a VERY public place.
4) Be aware of the 21-30 day withdrawal period. plan accordingly and try to remind yourself that it passes after a few days.
5) Be very honest with yourself. If you think there might be a nisayon really ask yourself whether you want to be there.
6) get rid of/block unfiltered devices IMMEDIATELY.
7)If you know certain times of day are harder for you, set up to be with others during those times.
8) Remember that Hashem loves you!!!!!!!!
"Greatness is forged in battle" - Reb Yerucham Levovitz
My Journey - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/399197-On-the-way-Again

Re: On the way... Again 20 Sep 2023 18:25 #401352

  • hopefulposek
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Update:
On day 48!!!!!
Super exciting, planning a special dinner for day 50. B"H RH was nice, I noticed that I have to be a bit more careful on Shabbos and YT as the womenfolk tend to dress more fashionably during those days and it is a trigger for me even if they are tzinus.
"Greatness is forged in battle" - Reb Yerucham Levovitz
My Journey - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/399197-On-the-way-Again

Re: On the way... Again 16 Oct 2023 18:17 #402341

  • hopefulposek
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OK it's been a while, Bein Hazmanim is always super busy and I didn't have time to check in over succos.
B"H made it past day 70! I'm really excited because I know there were many times that I thought there's no way I could make it this far and B"H I was wrong.
Bein Hazmanim was very hard though, I think it was mainly the lack of structure, I lost a lot of my daily activities which were helpful including the daily check in with a rebbi, posting on the forum, reading from a daily chizuk sefer, and excersizing.
Today was the first day totally back on schedule and it feels GREAT! I think it's a lesson to take to heart, we get very used to the routine we have and the safegaurds and strategies we have set up that when they are taken away we are left very vulnerable. this is not to say that there is nothing to do, but rather that we must be aware of this and therefore act in response, setting up new barriers in the path of the soton and devising new strategies with which to do battle.
I, sadly, was not so aware these past few weeks and it led to a few close calls, many days wanting nothing more than to sleep... just to avoid the overwhelming desire that consumed me. There were a few very very very hard days.
Hopefully all who are reading this can gain some chizuk on a few points:
1) A lesson was learnt, are struggles can have a benefit to helping us find our weaknesses so that we can prepare properly for the future.
2) I made it through, though the days were very challenging, it is possible to survive challenging days. Using the tools found here or ones that you yourself have devised, along with tremendous help from Hashem, you can make it through a rainy day (and see the rainbow on the other end)
Chazak to all those who are continuing to fight this fight and wage war on the Yetzer Harah!
"Greatness is forged in battle" - Reb Yerucham Levovitz
My Journey - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/399197-On-the-way-Again

Re: On the way... Again 23 Oct 2023 18:07 #402705

  • hopefulposek
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I was really proud of myself the other day when I checked in and saw that I had made it to day 80, it seems like 90 isn't so far away anymore. I am trying to figure out what to do to celebrate when I hit 90 days and am definitely going to make it a big one. 
Thanks to all who have had a hand in my journey and IY"H it will continue.
"Greatness is forged in battle" - Reb Yerucham Levovitz
My Journey - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/399197-On-the-way-Again

Re: On the way... Again 25 Oct 2023 18:09 #402807

  • hopefulposek
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checking in: day 83
I feel like time is slowing down and speeding up at the same time during the "final stretch".
Last time after I hit 90 days I found that I lost a lot of the passion and fire in the fight because I wasn't working towards a tangible goal. Does anyone have any advice of how to keep the fire alive inside? as well as any other post-90 day tips, it would really be appreciated. Thanks
"Greatness is forged in battle" - Reb Yerucham Levovitz
My Journey - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/399197-On-the-way-Again

Re: On the way... Again 25 Oct 2023 18:24 #402808

  • foolie
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If 90 days is your goalpost then good luck keeping any passion alive to keep going. I would suggest you move your goalpost to 180 days which is just another 90 day trip and keep working the 90 days just like you would any other 90 days or you can find something more concrete to fight for than just the almighty 90 days something that actually means something to you personally. But hey you do you 
I will give battle Sir- General George Meade (Army of the Potomac)
Nuts!- General Anthony McAuliffe (101st Airborne)
Lets Get Dangerous! - Darkwing Duck
You’ll need to raise the ante and negotiate- Rechnitzer Rejects
I'm fresh out of essential truths- Spock
Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person - David Rossi

Re: On the way... Again 26 Oct 2023 18:22 #402877

  • hopefulposek
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Thanks for the idea of moving it to 180. I'm going to try that, I am nervous about getting burnt out if I keep moving the target farther and farther it will seem that this struggle is endless, though it may be so, I think it will be detrimental to me if I am using a system which reinforces that idea. Can you share any idea's of concrete goals outside of just staying clean for longer?
Thanks
"Greatness is forged in battle" - Reb Yerucham Levovitz
My Journey - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/399197-On-the-way-Again

Re: On the way... Again 26 Oct 2023 19:45 #402881

hopefulposek wrote on 26 Oct 2023 18:22:
Thanks for the idea of moving it to 180. I'm going to try that, I am nervous about getting burnt out if I keep moving the target farther and farther it will seem that this struggle is endless, though it may be so, I think it will be detrimental to me if I am using a system which reinforces that idea. Can you share any idea's of concrete goals outside of just staying clean for longer?
Thanks

You might have a point there. It can get dangerous if your primary (maybe subconscious) motivation is to get to an arbitrary amount of days (and then change that number as you near it).
I'd suggest finding a reason that speaks to you. It doesn't necessarily have to be something that will gain you recognition (like boasting a four-digit number of days), but something that helps you quietly today.
You might get to that big number, but that can't be the sole goal.
We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.

Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: On the way... Again 30 Oct 2023 18:15 #402991

  • hopefulposek
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I think I can, I think I can
The little engine that could is slowly making it's way up the big big mountain. Everyone who looks at it thinks there's no way it will reach the top but day by day it moves closer and closer... until the summit is within view.
2 Days to 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Literally if you would have asked me 2 months ago I would have said there is no way I'm going to make it, maybe I could get close, but never could I make it for so long. B"H thinks don't seem the same anymore, I'm almost nervous about how complacent I am about making it, viewing it as "in the bag". IY"H things should go smoothly.
One thing that's been bothering me is that I wish after hitting 90 I could make a huge party and invite all my friends to share in this astonishing milestone in avodas Hashem (maybe wear a huge golden medal also, and maybe a cape) but it's not exactly the normal thing and would probably be pretty awkward and people may feel uncomfortable shaking my hand. 
Any ideas how to simulate the huge party that this is (in my humble opinion) deserving?
"Greatness is forged in battle" - Reb Yerucham Levovitz
My Journey - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/399197-On-the-way-Again

Re: On the way... Again 30 Oct 2023 18:28 #402992

  • foolie
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Buy yourself something nice that you have had your eye on for awhile 
I will give battle Sir- General George Meade (Army of the Potomac)
Nuts!- General Anthony McAuliffe (101st Airborne)
Lets Get Dangerous! - Darkwing Duck
You’ll need to raise the ante and negotiate- Rechnitzer Rejects
I'm fresh out of essential truths- Spock
Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person - David Rossi

Re: On the way... Again 30 Oct 2023 18:30 #402993

hopefulposek wrote on 30 Oct 2023 18:15:
I think I can, I think I can
The little engine that could is slowly making it's way up the big big mountain. Everyone who looks at it thinks there's no way it will reach the top but day by day it moves closer and closer... until the summit is within view.
2 Days to 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Literally if you would have asked me 2 months ago I would have said there is no way I'm going to make it, maybe I could get close, but never could I make it for so long. B"H thinks don't seem the same anymore, I'm almost nervous about how complacent I am about making it, viewing it as "in the bag". IY"H things should go smoothly.
One thing that's been bothering me is that I wish after hitting 90 I could make a huge party and invite all my friends to share in this astonishing milestone in avodas Hashem (maybe wear a huge golden medal also, and maybe a cape) but it's not exactly the normal thing and would probably be pretty awkward and people may feel uncomfortable shaking my hand. 
Any ideas how to simulate the huge party that this is (in my humble opinion) deserving?
We are not the same people we once were. We are not so locked into our urges that we have no choice. We can choose to give in or choose to win this battle today. We do not want to give in, the pleasure of giving in is false. 
With Hashem on our side our victory is inevitable; the only way we can lose is by giving up on playing the game.
Last Edit: 30 Oct 2023 18:31 by DeletedUser1211.

Re: On the way... Again 30 Oct 2023 18:33 #402994

  • hopefulposek
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I think my wife be a little annoyed if I got a Ferrari
There really isn't any thing that I've had my eye, except a new set of seforim which I'm using to motivate myself for a different program. I am planning on going on a "pulling all the stops" vacation, but right now finances are a bit tight so even though we do have the money for the vaca, I still feel a bit uncomfortable and I'm nervous about constantly checking the price tags which would kill the vibe a bit.
"Greatness is forged in battle" - Reb Yerucham Levovitz
My Journey - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/399197-On-the-way-Again

Re: On the way... Again 30 Oct 2023 18:44 #402995

  • ainshumyeiush
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Post your address here. We‘ll show up. If you need a good cover story we can all say we met in Rikers...
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm" - Winston Churchill

Curiosity kills the count

guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/401159-This-time-for-real?limit=15&start=15#401727


feel free to get in touch
ainshumyeiush@gmail.com 
7327021556 (google voice)

Re: On the way... Again 30 Oct 2023 18:49 #402996

  • foolie
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So get a different set of sefarim or buy a new baseball cap or suit, or hat, tie, cufflinks challah board, use your shnoodle man, find something nice and get it for yourself.

side note: your wife probably wouldn’t mind driving a Ferrari after she kills you for buying it
I will give battle Sir- General George Meade (Army of the Potomac)
Nuts!- General Anthony McAuliffe (101st Airborne)
Lets Get Dangerous! - Darkwing Duck
You’ll need to raise the ante and negotiate- Rechnitzer Rejects
I'm fresh out of essential truths- Spock
Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person - David Rossi

Re: On the way... Again 31 Oct 2023 10:22 #403019

  • adam2014
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First of all... CONGRATS on making it 88 days.... No matter what happens, that is a great accomplishment.  You may have also helped me in an unattended way..... When I read the line "people may feel uncomfortable shaking my hand".. I spit up my coffee all over my computer keyboard ... maybe I ruined it.. That would actually be a blessing if it did.. LOL
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