So far, with only one exception, the many guys i know that shared with their parents, received tremendous moral support, understanding, and chizuk. In addition, changes were made to accessibility at home. Of course, my statistics are only based on my experience, but i think deep down, any intelligent parent knows their child may be struggling - it is a very challenging world out there and they know it.

Hey all. At a week clean, B”H. In the end, I decided not to tell my parents (for now), but I made the decision to tell my relatives (on whose devices I’ve been falling repeatedly) that I will no longer be visiting them during the week. Said I feel that my place is in Yeshiva (which is true), and that staying by them is becoming a distraction (which is true, albeit in the form of an enormous euphemism). To that end, I will pretty much only be using devices on Erev and Motzaei Shabbosos from now on while in EY, and since people are always around then, it should make things considerably easier. It’s worked so far, B”H. Halevai Vaiter. 

Hope everybody’s doing well. Hatzlacha to all.

A Gutte Voch,

FWF

keep it up, holy friend! The fire of kedusha you are generating is warming us all!

At 13 days clean heading into Shabbos, B"H. Had an tremendously fulfilling and enjoyable week B"H, not going to my relatives and staying in Yeshiva was a huge part of that. Feeling the lust start to build itself back up again, but simultaneously confident with a plan in place. Shovavim is off to a good start, B"H.

A quick mashal courtesy of R' Meilech Biederman Shlit"a: a man took a $100 bill out of his pocket in the Beis Medrash and held it aloft. "Who wants this?" Everyone in the room looked up and immediately raised their collective hands. The man smiled, and crumpled up the bill in his fist. "Who wants this now?" Everyone looked at each other, confused, and kept their hands raised. The man threw the bill on the floor and stamped on it repeatedly. "How about now?" Hands remained raised. The man spat on the bill and crumpled it up (still intact) in a tissue. "How about now?" All hands remained raised. Someone said to the man in confusion "Whatever you do to it, it's still a $100 bill!"
The man smiled, and beamed at the room. "IT'S A MASHAL FOR A YID, raboisai. Whatever you do to him, whatever the world does to him, even whatever he does to himself-he's still a Yid. And Hashem loves him and wants him, no matter what he does."

Hope everybody's doing well. Hatzlacha to all.

Have a wonderful Shabbos,

FWF

FighterWithFire wrote on 13 Jan 2023 13:56:

Love the Mashal, FWF! Glad you had such a good week. Keep fighting that lust, my friend. You are doing great. 

FighterWithFire wrote on 13 Jan 2023 13:56:

Thank you
I'm sorry but I must disagree with the mashal, and it is somewhat shallow. A $100 bill has the same exact value whether it is crisp or crumpled. A Jew who sins stains his neshamah. God does not want/like/look favorably at that. Does he still have potential? Yes. Does God love every Jew the same? I have no idea, but the mashal does not prove that He does.

Godspeed to all

A learned woman named Beruriah heard her husband, Rabbi Meir, praying that a certain group of thugs who had caused a lot of trouble would die. Beruriah pointed out that while this type of prayer may seem to have basis in a verse (Tehillim 104:35), a closer reading of the verse reveals that we should hope for “sins,” not “sinners,” to disappear from the earth. Rabbi Meir agreed with her point and reframed his prayers – and, ostensibly with God’s help in answer to his prayers, they repented.   (Berachot 10a)

“Love the sinner, hate the sin” 

cordnoy wrote on 13 Jan 2023 14:54:

The "Jewishness" of any given neshama, which is loved by Hashem, is similarly unaffected by any sin, stain, etc. as disgustingly reprehensible as it may be; it is not part of the neshama. An exact parallel to the moshol. This is not to say that there isn't a vast immeasurable difference between the state/condition of the neshama of the fellow who did/does God knows what re his urges etc. and the one who never fell and just kept/keeps on struggling without giving in. (Again, paralleled in the moshol)
Does God love every Jew the same?
No idea either, but the core nekuda of a Jewish neshama is no different in any lowlife (even) than in the greatest tzadik, ba'al madreigah who ever lived.

cordnoy wrote on 13 Jan 2023 14:54:

Breaking my response down into two parts:

1) No Mashal "proves" anything, parables are not proofs. They exist in order to illustrate points metaphorically. So while of course the Mashal does not "prove" anything, it still illustrates the point well.

2) While I do hear your point about the $100 bill retaining it's 100 dollar value no matter what happens to it (so long as it remains intact), whereas a Yid who sins taints his Neshama, I believe (though I could be wrong) that that was EXACTLY R' Meilech's point when he said this; his exact Loshon on Thursday night was "a hundret bleipt a hundret (A hundred remains a hundred), un a Yid bleipt a Yid (and a Yid remains a Yid)." I understood this as R' Meilech acknowledging the Chiddush of his Mashal, and reiterating it to eliminate doubt-that the love of Hashem for a Yid does not diminish no matter what that Yid does (so long as that Yid is trying to serve Hashem to the best of his ability and acknowledges that Hashem is the קל מלך נאמן at all times, even when he (I.E., the Yid) falls). 

Now, do I KNOW whether this is true (that Hashem's love for every Yid who believes in Him and tries to serve Him is the same)? No. But I believe it. And it seemed to me that it was exactly the message R' Meilech was trying to impart on the Chevra in the room this past Thursday night. 

A Gutte Voch,

FWF

28 days clean! 4 whole weeks! B”H, feeling fantastic, but getting harder as the lust increases. That being said, this streak feels different somehow-I feel like I’ve really figured something out. Hopefully I didn’t just jinx it…

Hope everyone else is doing well. Hatzlacha to all.

A Gutte Voch,

FWF

42 DAYS CLEAN! 6 WHOLE WEEKS!

I’m excited beyond words (but you hopefully deduced that already). Haven’t gotten this far in a long time, and while it is getting harder, I still feel much better than I have in previous times. Highly encouraging. I know it’s more about the consistency and the batting average than the streak, but it still feels terrific. הלואי ויתר.

Hope everybody is doing well. Hatzlacha to all.

A Gutte Voch,

FWF

This thread is very inspiring to me! Keep up the great work!

53. DAYS. CLEAN!!!

53!!!

I haven't come this close to 90 since the beginning. I'm not just excited-I'm ELATED. I haven't felt this confident so far into a streak EVER. I can barely wrap my head around the fact that the mark is within reach. (Ironic note: The completion of 90 days BE"H would be on...April Fools' Day. Hardy har har.)

All in all, it's definitely getting harder; I find myself with an urge to lust and fantasize increasingly more often these days, but I'm doing a pretty good job of blocking it out (MUCH better than I've done in the past). Again, I'm just amazed by how far I've come. Thank you Aibeshter for giving me the Koach to fight and persevere through it all. I owe you everything.

Hope everybody else is doing well. Hatzlacha to all.

Looking forward to checking in again soon as 90 days gets ever closer,

FWF

56!!! (Cue the DiMaggio jokes.) 8 WHOLE WEEKS!!!

On a roll, feeling great. It should only continue, BE"H.

Hope everybody else is doing well. Hatzlacha to all.

A Gutte Voch,

FWF

63 DAYS!! 9 WHOLE WEEKS!!!

Feeling absolutely amazing, B"H. I know I sound like a broken record over my last few posts, but given how I'm feeling, הלואי ויתר, if not even better.

Just blown away by what a difference a couple of months can make. Thank you Ribono Shel Olam for everything I have.

Hope everybody else is doing well. Hatzlacha to all.

A Gutte Voch and A Frelichen Purim,

FWF