Sapy wrote on 26 Jul 2022 21:10:

wow! that's great! a royal flush!

seems like there was a consensus that you should order for your wife the vintage cote de boeuf, and regarding the hachanos and gartel, we also agree

Lchaim Tovim wrote on 27 Jul 2022 13:47:


Hmm... a guy won't work for me. He'd (I'd) probably be even worse.

Sapy wrote on 26 Jul 2022 21:39:

I'm in. How's about once a week?  Trouble, what you say?

Lchaim Tovim wrote on 27 Jul 2022 13:22:

i'm game for once a week.

jules on the deck -  +674 557 0147

Trouble wrote on 27 Jul 2022 17:26:

bartender told me that three pervs from east coast americas called asking for trouble

had a party the other night with a bunch of chevra. All mainstream former yeshiva now working guys.

All had browsers on their phones, various apps that I don't have, didn't seem to be any filters (or at least not much filtering)

Give me any of their phones and I'm finished, 

Left the night feeling am I just screwed up? What's wrong with me? how does everyone else function?

had a party the other night with a bunch of chevra. All mainstream former yeshiva now working guys.

All had browsers on their phones, various apps that I don't have, didn't seem to be any filters (or at least not much filtering)

Give me any of their phones and I'm finished, 

Left the night feeling am I just screwed up? What's wrong with me? how does everyone else function?

Lchaim Tovim wrote on 28 Jul 2022 14:54:

Here's how they function: The same way I functioned till three months ago.
Although looking back, I wouldn't call that functioning.

Thank you YFM, Connected and Avrohom.

It's not so much that I really care about how they could do it and not me. I think it's more the confusion I feel. ​I'll try to express the mumble jumble in my mind but I'm not sure how coherent it will be.

I took off my browser and filtered everything as those were obvious things that I had to do. I guess the question is regarding everything else-trying to put filters all over my life (taking off my glasses for example). Why am I being so extreme in all these areas? this question doesn't seem to be addressed to us. It's because I feel that I am powerless over lust and I can't do what's "normal". I can't have access to these things and I have to be in fighting mode so that when temptation arises, I will be successful.

Or not.. is this a question?

Is all my obsessive prep that I am doing consuming me? yes. Is it causing me to think about situations of lust all day? yes. Am I burning myself out? not necessarily; it depends upon the future. Am I ready to do this for the rest of my life? only you can answer this accurately, but my hunch is no. What will I do when faced with a challenge I did not prepare for? again, only you can answer this, and this one - even you can't provide a definite answer. my hunch says that in the near future, you will succeed, longer term, i'm not sure.

But if I don't, don't what? how will I overcome temptation staring me in the face? What will I do when I am in a situation that I failed a thousand times before? are you forgetting all about your past successes?

Am I supposed to give  up  living  like everyone else and having  all these things no or am I supposed to give up living life like it's one big battlefield i'm confused on the grammar but then if what happens? what do I do?

I don't know if this makes any sense but...

Lchaim Tovim wrote on 28 Jul 2022 19:19:

i dislike the word 'fighting,' but the purpose of the 'fight' is to change how your insides work; that will either result in not having temptation at all or being tempted and overcoming even though you are not on the battlefield any longer. and it is for that very reason why eventually you may be able to use whatsapp and you may be able to walk into jules on the deck with your glasses on.