I don't normally post. I'm just really not sure what to do. I'm a very normal good guy I've even broken free for a nice while. And then fell right back down...
I used to be really good at fighting but I feel like now even though I'm doing almost everything that I should be the situation is just not getting better. Even though I'm not falling as often when I do fall it's bad, really bad. And I can't take it anymore!!! & I can't do anything about it as hard as I try.
Appreciate any tips and ssuggestions. and sorry for boring all of you that were so kind to take your time to read.
All the best!!!!!

Hi there. Sorry for the frustration that you are having. My first suggestion would be to actually come here daily to post. The connections should help you out.

Rt234 wrote on 05 Feb 2022 23:11:

Do the flight for freedom. It will give you strategies on smarter ways to make the fight easier.

firstly, the fact that when you fall makes you sick is a big headstart! that means a big part of you already feels like you truly wanna end this!!! thats amazing and with just a few stops youll be able t break free long term...I’d suggest taking the following into account… 
1. make a system to keep your clarity going. The clearer we are why we don’t wanna view porn the easier it’ll be stay back. After all the more we don’t like something the easier it is to not touch it. (perhaps writing down every reason why you wanna stop porn and triggering material? and reminding yourself it each day for 10 min?)
2. learn to keep the triggers more distant from you… - the more we have it super close then even if you CLEARLY know why you dont wanna go there it can happen in a state of impulsivity..
3. making porn not an option always makes the fight so much easier! How about making a vow you’ll rip up 20$ within 24 hrs of viewing porn? This is just one of many ideas of making it not an option. 
4. Often we take the lazy way! Realize, we need to stay away from porn on day 1,10,100,1000,10,000 if we want to be successful and that means a lot of work! We gotta prepare in advance for that and think about how you can do that with the top 3 things I listed. I personally DON’T believe that if you do only one of them - you’ll see long term success. It takes a strong analytical plan! Keep on going! And keep on looking back at what you can learn from! You got this! There are so many that succeeded! You can too!! 

An example of Daily motivation for porn

1. We will ALWAYS not wanna watch! We are always upset with our behavior! (Since it destroys our hearts and minds and our whole life) The question is when will we tap into it?! Now? Or… after we fall! When we feel like we wish we’re buried under the soil.
2. Once we understand that we’re gonna always be unhappy with our “watching of porn” we’re just giving in to the cycle that we’ll always wanna stop so why not just stop?
3. We truly feel horrible since we made an incredibly stupid decision, we feel sticky and uch! Like why why why! Why did my eyes have to see that!
4. We feel so full of guilt! Like how on earth did i do this?!? And if we’re on a good streak we’ll hear the words in our head I was doing sooooo well now I’m back here!
5. Sad- how did I ruin everything?! Now I’m back to square one.
6. Worthless- we feel our minds are like a toilet.. or better say - an overloaded sewer system! I’m not capable.
7. We feel angry- how many times are we gonna try!?! How many times do I have to see myself fail! How many day,  months and years!!
8. We’re overloaded with a whole bunch of extra tayvos now! A whole new video in our brain! The thoughts an cravings that come because of it are absolutely ridiculous!
9. We’re ruining a chance to have a clear mind
10. The way breaking free works is because this is very visual the more we stay away the more our brain forgets that high and what it looked like and everything like that! And by keep on falling we don’t allow that process to start!
11. We feel like a double standard! Putting on teffilin in the morning and yet doing the biggest aveiros later! It feels like a knife to our heart! We feel so fake! Our sincerity feels like a lie.
12. Ruining a chance to feel free! There’s no better feeling of realizing this parsha is behind me! The constant doubts are gone! The ones like “should I fall?! Should I not?!? But maybe! But it’s right here!” “I’ll just do teshuva right after!” “Oh one video will be enough!” “I’ll feel so much better.”
13. Ruining a chance to look back and realize how long you came! Trust me it’s yetzias mitzrayim! It’s a feeling of “wow I’m a real fighter I’ve been clean for so long”
14. Navigating lust to porn isn’t an option cuz we can’t have a happy frum marriage and home of kedusha and tranquility etc while having this horrible issue in the way! Which means for the - unmarried guys your only buying time by allowing your mind to turn there since we must gain full full control of this before a happy marriage starts and honestly a happy life starts! And for the married guys- your killing your wife and your killing this golden opportunity of a happy household. - We don’t live forever.
15. Porn also means for 99% of people automatically mz”l so it’s really killing a lot of birds with this dumb ugly stone.
16. Porn also ruins the chance for intimacy it’s trains the brain to love that sexual excitement and intensity which will only cause issues cuz sexual intensity never lives up to the hype and it will make one’s mind become completely distorted.

Don’t we wanna avoid all this damage!!??!??

If you wanna mess up your life - go fall. And I’ll see you agree with this in an hour from now… probably, even in 5 minutes from now.

If you wanna stay strong,

Realize this!! It’s true.. this doesn’t make you happy! Go do something instead of this fake stupidity and at least channel your lust to something better. Go get a good sandwich that you’ll actually not kill your life by doing.

I appreciate everyone's help thank you!!
akso even though porn is a problem by me at the moment I distanced it alot. It's mainly a problem at home. At the current moment is masturbation mainly that's the problem. I think I'm doing everything if not almost almost everything I should be doing to put up the fight I Should be.
ALso today was great bh!!
Thank you to everyone again!!!!!!

Rt234 wrote on 06 Feb 2022 23:09:

You should try adding some intense exercise to your daily schedule, it helps with taivah.

I really feel with you, only someone who is going through this can understand your pain, there is sometimes when you feel that the more you fight it the harder it hits you back, but there is somewhere out there light at the end of the tunnel, although you can’t see with your blind eye.

I was struggling with this, and I’m still struggling, but I’m on a much better place right now from a year ago, I am seeing a therapist and I making a lot of progress with him, remember one thing, that hashem sent you this nisyonos to bring you to a higher level that you wouldn’t be able to reach without it.