Friday night was my worst and longest urge in the past 42 days since im clean
it was a combination of the unwinding from purim and a lot of stress
bh after a lot of fighting the yh 
i decided i can't do it on the day r chaim was niftar
i told myself if i still want i will do it tmrw 
and lo and behold bh i awoke today much calmer and said no way not today either
so still clean bh 

613guard wrote on 20 Mar 2022 05:07:

Amazing! Reb Chaim Z"L should be a meilitz yosher for you and you should be able to keep on going strong in this battle and be successful in everything you do. 

Upto 47 days
over halfway to 90 
bh an easier week so far 
Iyh vaiter

Day 49 its crazy that i was able to make it this far 
thank you hashem

I found a major chizuk this week in Alei shur

(Chelek rishon shaar shlishi maaracha shaini perek zayin)

"whoever stands up against the yetzer hara is a TZADIK, whoever doesn't stand up is a RASHA"



NOT  whoever wins every time

you just gotta fight the fight

 

By the conflict between Yaakov and Eisav,  Yaakov Avinu had no choice but to wrestle with the very malach of Eisav.  As much as he tried, Eisav’s angel was unable to overcome Yaakov, lo yuchal lo. 
The question is:  “How strong is an angel?”  
The answer is that an angel has whatever strength, whatever power he needs to accomplish his task.  The angel that overturned Sodom must have had tremendous strength.  But if this is true, then why wasn’t the Tzar of Eisav able to overcome Yaakov Avinu?  Evidently, that wasn’t his task.  His task was merely to cause Yaakov Avinu to confront and fight back.  If Yaakov fights back he wins, if he gives in and surrenders, he loses.  The angel was given only the strength to cause him to fight and if he fights, not to overcome him. 

Who is the Tzar of Eisav, we know that the Tzar of Eisav is also the Yetzer Hara.  If so, then the Yetzer Hara does not have the power to defeat us, unless we don’t give it a fight.  If we surrender to him, we lose, but if we fight back we are assured, we are guaranteed to win. 

Had a wet dream last night
And now it got in my head and gave me huge taiva
almost gave in tonight 
Its not fair i was doing so good 
HELP ME

This is a very common experience. Others can say more than I can, but it's understood to be a positive sign. You aren't receiving stimulus while you are awake, so your subconscious is chasing after it while asleep. I know it's not the most fun way to wake up, but you can feel positive that a change is happening in your brain for the better. These dreams will also likely settle down soon!

There has been much written on the forums about wet dreams. Ask Markz - he has the incredible ability of referencing past posts.  In summary, they are expected as one recovers due to the pleasure starving one is doing to his subconscious mind. eventually they diminish in frequency and intensity. for now ignore them and take them as a good sign, that you are not consciously feeding the beast any more.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 11 Apr 2022 11:17:

or take them as no sign whatsoever

Trouble wrote on 11 Apr 2022 14:23:

@Trouble, do you mean to say that it's better to ignore it and not to think about it so it does not register in us as anything significant? 

DavidT wrote on 11 Apr 2022 14:46:

ignore completely as if it never happened

Trouble wrote on 11 Apr 2022 15:22:

But it did happen. What's the gain of fooling ourselves?

DavidT wrote on 11 Apr 2022 15:23:

many things happen in life all the time - many are insignificant - when you ignore those things, you are not fooling yourself at all - you are accepting its insignificant impact upon your life.

Trouble wrote on 11 Apr 2022 15:34:

beautiful post!