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My seemingly endless and dark journey

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: My seemingly endless and dark journey 1887 Views

Re: My seemingly endless and dark journey 22 Feb 2023 05:00 #392471

Tired of falling
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Geshmak! wrote on 21 Feb 2023 03:06:

Tired of falling wrote on 21 Feb 2023 02:44:

Hey, man thanks for checking on me. Currently, I'm 4 days clean. Still struggling to keep clean for more than a week. I've just set up an anyonymos google voice number, so I can call someone when having a nisayon. I feel like that's the only hope for me, since it's the one thing I was nervous to do, but I have to do it now. Please let me know if you are interested.

I'm trying to find time everyday to be on the fight to freedom program. I will also try to continue posting here in forum daily bli neder.

No nisyonot today.

What about you Geshmak?

Sure I’m interested!! But I would recommend someone way better then me he’s username is Hashem help me. You can contact him through emailing him at michelgelner@gmail.com
He is really good at this… but he’s very busy and can’t pick up every time you have a nisyen. So maybe ask him what he thinks about calling me in time of nisyen and if he gives the go a head… then I’m all in!
Let me know, take care!
Oh! And how did I forget to say…. 4 days clean is amazing! Almost a week… keep us posted when you get your week. And doing the f2f program is a great idea too. Good luck!

Thank you, Geshmak. I just emailed him. I greatly appreciate it.

Re: My seemingly endless and dark journey 22 Feb 2023 05:03 #392472

Tired of falling
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simchastorah wrote on 21 Feb 2023 07:17:

It takes tremendous strength to keep getting up an trying again and again like you. Your story is so full of the fight and of holding yourself responsible. Chazal tell us that when a person comes to purify himself, shamayim helps him. Hang on tight, you will make it, you are a true ba litaher

That gave me a big chizuk. May we and everyone who is struggling in this make it.

Re: My seemingly endless and dark journey 22 Feb 2023 13:55 #392488

zedj
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Tired of falling wrote on 22 Feb 2023 05:00:

Geshmak! wrote on 21 Feb 2023 03:06:

Tired of falling wrote on 21 Feb 2023 02:44:

Thank you, Geshmak. I just emailed him. I greatly appreciate it.

If I may,
being in touch with a chaver is beneficial in itself. You dont need to be a mentor to be in touch. You can share your story, provide chizuk to each other and share what has helped you.

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: My seemingly endless and dark journey 22 Feb 2023 14:56 #392489

geshmak!
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Dear zedj
your so right! But I just don’t trust myself… ( for good reasons

)
Like I can see myself if I’m in a ON mood then someone calls to chat abt he’s nisyen I can get aroused and … etc. I have an addiction to this( bh must people don’t) but for me I think it would be better after I’m at least sober a year. Like I don’t want to mess anybody up cv. Even tho do wish to connect with people I love to shimuz but I just can’t trust myself yet… but again your so right it doesn’t have to be mentor to give chizuk in a way sometimes a person on the same page as you can give better chizuk then someone that’s past it already… take care! Gut chidash!

Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Feel free to pm me!

Last Edit: 22 Feb 2023 14:57 by geshmak!.

Re: My seemingly endless and dark journey 23 Feb 2023 05:29 #392536

Tired of falling Current streak: 14 days OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 28 Karma: 3	Day 6. No nisyonos, probably because I had severe toothache and had to go to the dentist to get a wisdom tooth extracted. I remember that when things like this happen, I get no nisyonos (or at least it’s easier to overcome them) for a while until after they pass. Hatzlacha to everyone reading this!

Re: My seemingly endless and dark journey 23 Feb 2023 05:59 #392539

emes-a-yid
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Tired of falling wrote on 23 Feb 2023 05:29:

Day 6. No nisyonos, probably because I had severe toothache and had to go to the dentist to get a wisdom tooth extracted.
I remember that when things like this happen, I get no nisyonos (or at least it’s easier to overcome them) for a while until after they pass.

Hatzlacha to everyone reading this!

Very nice, whatever reason it is, lemaaseh you went clean on your thoughts although you had some pain, feel better on your tooth. Hatzlacha!

To my dear friend reading this:
You are an incredible yid for just being on this site, I am breath taken after each post or new person that comes on and shares a bit about himself, keep it up. You guys are mamash matzlichim in your own ways of growth and Hashem is proud of each one of you! (that includes me too) lol.

KEEP UP YOUR TREMENDOUS UPLIFTING IN THE AVODAH OF EMES!!

Thanks for reading! Stay shtark, I am also being challenged, just build your confidence, never quit no matter what, you are your strongest enemy and yet you are your strongest savior so you choose, I am not saying it's easy but am saying it's possible just takes effort and work!!
-from Emes-A-Yid

Re: My seemingly endless and dark journey 18 Aug 2023 01:23 #400044

Tired of falling Current streak: 14 days OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 28 Karma: 3	Hey Chevra, I'm trying to get back on here. Any suggestions on how to commit to being on the forum daily? Chodesh Tov!

Re: My seemingly endless and dark journey 18 Aug 2023 01:37 #400047

eccentriccomposer Current streak: 299 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 222 Karma: 29	Welcome back, if you look around and you're motivated to post, you'll do it often. Hatzlacha!
	I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me! Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help! Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com Eccentric Trip to Freedom Daily Dose

Re: My seemingly endless and dark journey 31 Aug 2023 19:51 #400722

Tired of falling
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Hey Chevra, sorry I haven't been posting updates because I've been moving into yeshiva and adjusting. BH no nisyonos, or falls at least since my last post. But I won't let my guard down, because often in situations like this where I moved to a new place and have excitement, fades after a couple of weeks and the nisyonos get difficult again.
Trying to stay busy, and find time to get chizuk in shmiras einayim/bris daily.

Re: My seemingly endless and dark journey 04 Sep 2023 02:06 #400821

Tired of falling
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Hey Chevra, I forgot to let you know that I was finally able to go to a tag office and download a filter last week. I've been getting nisyonot on Friday, motzei shabbos, and today. But I pushed it off saying that my devices are filtered and I won't be able to see what the yetzer wants me to see anyways. But unfortunately I had a bad dream. But it's a natural withdrawal effect. The main thing is not to do it intentionally. I'm trying to keep busy with learning, and chizuk.

Hatzlacha to all of us!