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It makes me feel alone
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TOPIC: It makes me feel alone 413 Views

It makes me feel alone 26 Apr 2021 01:41 #367420

  • thaicares
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Hello everyone

My goal is to quit both masturbation and porn. I only really masturbate when I look. I also need to quit smoking which I've mostly replaced with vaping which I also need to quit! It's been a real struggle. I was doing pretty well until covid which made it harder. I was also doing well even with shmirat einayim until I started my current job cleaning pools. Now all the neighborhoods I drove through have many joggers which distract me, I often look away even quickly but ultimately they first catch my eye.Reasons- I am trying to get married right now- We have two boys from her previous marriage that I want to be better influences to- it is causing problems hiding this from my fiance- it is distracting me from successes in life- it's taking a real toll on my overall mental healthThank you for the help you are providing! 

Re: It makes me feel alone 26 Apr 2021 01:48 #367421

Best of luck!

Sounds like you got a lot on your plate I'm not an expert but it might be better to quit vaping and masturbation one at a time to make it more manageable (both hard enough alone) if you do both at the same time you might not make any headway in either one. Again probably depends on the person and I'm not advising just throwing that out there
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!

My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Feel free to contact me at evedhashem1836@gmail.com

Re: It makes me feel alone 26 Apr 2021 01:54 #367422

  • happyyid
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Welcome!
Good luck on your journey!
Keep us updated.

Did you check out the GYE handbook yet? It was very helpful for me. 
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread
Last Edit: 26 Apr 2021 02:01 by happyyid.

Re: It makes me feel alone 26 Apr 2021 13:27 #367438

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Welcome! Please check out the free resources below in my signature. Also you might want to sign up for the GYE Daily Boost.

Hatzlocha!
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: It makes me feel alone 29 Apr 2021 00:53 #367607

  • thaicares
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I had a slip up a couple days back, Monday night. I know why, I was up late at night and not sleeping. Sadly and oddly I was up in a zoom room hosted by a Rabbi, he had left but left the room open for conversation. The conversation was good and I enjoyed it. Nothing wrong or taboo but staying up so late was a mistake. I plan to correct this in small ways. Being more active here!
I have 2 mentors now so I'm excited to start engaging with them more I hope that helps.
Also I'm now 2 days clean since the slip up

Re: It makes me feel alone 30 Apr 2021 01:09 #367697

  • thaicares
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Today I had a struggle but I pulled through and didn't succumb. I have a Facebook account and often get friends request from fake accounts pretending to be women but are just porn pushers, I started down that rabbit hole but didn't let myself get sucked in. Felt good to fight and win that.

Re: It makes me feel alone 30 Apr 2021 01:29 #367699

  • happyyid
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Thaicares wrote on 30 Apr 2021 01:09:
Today I had a struggle but I pulled through and didn't succumb. I have a Facebook account and often get friends request from fake accounts pretending to be women but are just porn pushers, I started down that rabbit hole but didn't let myself get sucked in. Felt good to fight and win that.

I'm sure it took alot of strength to stop before it got too late.
Great job!
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: It makes me feel alone 03 May 2021 18:48 #367873

  • thaicares
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I had a fall double time, a difference in my work week, alone time, and change of location all led to way too comfortable situation to masturbate, two days in a row. Something about yesterday and today not having the same issue is inspiring. I think shifts are happening, I'm getting stronger even though I fall? I don't know but I pray HaShem will give me all the strength I need!
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