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Starting to get it
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Starting to get it 631 Views

Starting to get it 08 Apr 2021 08:44 #366523

  • Taharat Yisrael
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Its me again . I couldn't type for a while bec my phone wouldn't give me access. I've been mainly successful in the army as I always kept busy  I even hit a record of 17 days! Recently I've been having a rough time. My phone's getting repaired so I had to use a friend's phone. I tried to filter it but wasn't successful until recently. I fell twice over a few days but I'm proud that I put up a crazy  fight the second time. My GYE partner Shomerain suggested reading the book power of habit by Charles Douhigg. I bought it and it's amazing. Teaches how our brain forms and changes routines that we never even take note of. Hoping to make it through shabbat without any more  pegam habit.

Re: Starting to get it 08 Apr 2021 09:06 #366529

  • wilnevergiveup
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Welcome back!

How is Israel? How is the Army?
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Starting to get it 08 Apr 2021 13:54 #366540

  • grant400
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Hey! Welcome back! Was missing you!

I thought maybe you have to go undercover for a secret mission: )

Re: Starting to get it 08 Apr 2021 16:55 #366547

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BH, Israel is as amazing as usual. Thanks for your concern. Army is tough. Moved bases. I got the security clearance I've been waiting for but still can serve in an intelligence job. Once I was moved to the communications corps(dealing w equipment, electrical hardware etc) i was there to stay. Thank G-d I get out 2/3 שבתות and get to spend time w friends. Most likely going back to my yeshiva in Elul.

Re: Starting to get it 13 Jul 2021 08:21 #370770

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Hi guys. Have been having a rough time. Visited America for a month and was exposed to porn a couple of times via parents devices. Gotta a bit better now that I'm back in Eretz Yisrael. Went to 8 days. Unfortunately struggle a lot w fantasies. Worst danger is boredom. Often hits on weekends but sometimes there are times when there's no work on my base and that's also a danger. I try to learn as much as I can, even distracted myself from falling by watching a movie but its not easy.

Re: Starting to get it 13 Jul 2021 08:25 #370771

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I'm also wondering- could be i mentioned this before but my experience is that being w girls is not a trigger(if they're dressed relatively modestly). Being alone by myself is far worse. Are there  many others here who feel the same way? Is it only those who are already desensitized? What about those who grew up in a very sheltered background? U get the impression that high school Rabayim don't always know what to prioritize.

Re: Starting to get it 13 Jul 2021 13:44 #370773

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You raised a good point. 
A lust addict has a disability. His mind has been warped to objectify people. He suffers from neediness and vulnerability, and is sometimes prone to depression. He is also limited the range of his activities ifhe wants to stay sober. He can't just "lust a little" and stay safe like everyone else. He has difficulties being around certain people at Simchos and outings etc.

But even healthy people need to keep strong fences as the Ohr Hachaim teaches us,  (Acharei Mos, 18:2) "As long as one does not stay away from looking, even if he stays away from thinking about it, he will not be able to control himself and rid himself of the inevitable desire. And if one does not distance himself from thinking about these things, his thoughts will also force him to seek out and lust after the deed."
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Starting to get it 13 Jul 2021 14:29 #370775

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I hope I understand you correctly. Your saying someone who's an addict has it harder when interacting with girls? I'd think they're more desensitized?

Re: Starting to get it 13 Jul 2021 16:52 #370781

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Lust addiction is like an "allergy".
We have to understand that lust addicts are crippled in this area. They have an ALLERGY to lust. If someone is allergic to peanuts and he eats them anyway, his face will blow up. There's nothing he can do about it, he will never be able to "control" his allergic reaction; all he can do is avoid the peanuts in the first place. When a lust addict is faced with a trigger, he is powerless and will be pulled into it. An addict will never be able to CONTROL his addiction, i.e. his allergic reaction to lust.
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Starting to get it 13 Jul 2021 17:44 #370784

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DavidT wrote on 13 Jul 2021 16:52:
Lust addiction is like an "allergy".
We have to understand that lust addicts are crippled in this area. They have an ALLERGY to lust. If someone is allergic to peanuts and he eats them anyway, his face will blow up. There's nothing he can do about it, he will never be able to "control" his allergic reaction; all he can do is avoid the peanuts in the first place. When a lust addict is faced with a trigger, he is powerless and will be pulled into it. An addict will never be able to CONTROL his addiction, i.e. his allergic reaction to lust.

Gee, thanks
i'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

if you're looking for trouble, you can email me @trouble69gye@outlook.com

Re: Starting to get it 15 Jul 2021 12:08 #370899

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Hey guys! Been struggling tremendously with fantasizing recently and I had a very uncomfortable experience. I was wearing tight pants(army uniform worn outside) and was on the bus back. The motion of the bus stimulated me. I fantasized a bit and ended up ejaculating in my pants! I was sooo embarrassed. Has this happened to anyone else here? I don't think these experiences are the norm as I'm only on day 4! 

Re: Starting to get it 21 Jul 2021 08:30 #371099

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BH, I'm on day 10 and going strong! Not counting Thursdays accident. Hoping to keep strong through shabbat so I need to make a plan for when I get home. I'm going to have a break next week so thats for sure going to be a challenge. Pray for me everyone!!

Re: Starting to get it 23 Jul 2021 07:53 #371133

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I unfortunately fell Thursday night. I was clean for 11 days. Thursdays are by far the biggest challenge as I have privacy in my apartment. Even though I made a plan to be busy i left chores like laundry and dishwashing for late at night. That already put me in a falling mentality as I was up so late and my roommate had already when to bed. I need to get these things out of the way early so I can get to bed on time when I'm in my apartment.

Re: Starting to get it 25 Aug 2021 16:34 #371897

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Hey guys! BH I'm out of the army and started yeshiva again this Elul. I do feel that I've grown in שמירת הברית and שמירת עיניים to an extent. Not watching any movies while in yeshiva and keeping very busy with my learning. There are so lot of interesting shiurim even during the lunch break or after seder where I learn. The test I have now is the fact that my parents are visiting to check out neighborhoods (planning on aliya) and they have unfiltered devices. I fell once on my dads phone but since the phone was not working so well I was only able to get pictures and no videos . For the future while I'm staying by them I need to make sure the devices aren't charging in my room late at night. For the laptop I cam say that I'm wasting time. What about phones? Radiation? Fear of battery overcharging?

Re: Starting to get it 25 Aug 2021 20:09 #371899

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Actually "Radiation" is not just a false excuse.. see the article below... 

____________________________________________

Experts now warn that sleeping next to a charging phone could be very bad for us.

Our nervous system operates on very low voltage electricity – meaning the brain uses electricity to send signals to our muscles.

For some, the man-made alternating current that powers our homes can interfere with these processes. This might be why some people may find it difficult to sleep near a charging phone.

Because batteries heat up when charging, it's also a major fire risk charging your phone on your bed or under your pillows while you sleep – forget about those brain cells, you’ll burn down the house!

Try placing your phone in a saucer while it charges to avoid starting any inadvertent fires. It’ll protect you… at least until you wake up and smell the smoke, right?

Though it does make sense to recharge our phones while we in fact recharge our own battery with sleep - charging your phone overnight just isn't worth the mental and physical health risks to you, and the technical risks for your handheld best friend.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
Last Edit: 25 Aug 2021 20:11 by davidt.
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