Hope everyone had a good Yom Tov
I have a bit of an urge to masturbate tonight, the first time in a while and probably the strongest urge within this streak.

I'll try keep you all updated bn

BH I think it's passed
Day 33
BH clean

Been feeling a bit more 'on edge' todayI think I had a dream about acting out last night, and I've been thinking about certain things last night and today, so maybe that why it's on my mind today (to be honest it doesn't matter why it's on my mind, but I just need to deal with whatever hand I'm given)
I can now appreciate the menuchas hanefesh I've had over the last ~30 days, it's barely been on my mind at all for a while, which I'm very grateful to HKB"H for.

Will try to keep you all updated

As you move back to a regular routine post Yom Tov, iyh things will quiet down...

Day 34
BH clean today, despite having a low level urge for some of today

Been there. Waking up and being like what just happened. Don't worry about it and just do your best to keep moving forward

Been having a lot of thoughts about girls I know, family friends etc. I need to try catch myself when my mind goes into these thoughts and topics, it's not conducive to stating clean when I get caught up in thoughts and fantasies

Feeling a bit weak now, and have an urge to masturbate. 
I would likely masturbate now if I knew I could see something (not only porn).
Going to go learn some more now, counting down the minutes until dinner because I need a energy boost and don't have any food with me right now

Had a solid hour of learning and dinner is now BH

Day 35
5 weeks clean bH
Possibly the hardest day so far in this is streak, but BH didn't act out this afternoon, and actually managed to learn well just after the urge was at it worst
I can see that the urge to masturbate was lower today than in the past, maybe because I've been staying cleaner for longer, or perhaps because I have a reliable filter and don't have any access to anything negative. It does get easier

Overall it was a successful day BH

I just went through your other threads.
I just wanted to say you're an inspiration for not giving up and please keep trucking and posting. 
If you had 500+ days in the past, you've more than shown you can absolutely make it.
Bad days come, but they go away too. They don't stay long, hopefully.
Do you have real life friends you can call? Or from GYE for that matter.
Any form of social contact is always a very good relief.

Snowflake wrote on 20 May 2021 23:16:

Thank you I appreciate it. (The 500 weren't consecutive, I still haven't gone above 68 days in one consecutive streak)


I have one or 2 guys from GYE who I'm in contact with. It's not always so convenient to call because we're in different countries. I've spoken to one real life friend about this recently, although I don't really give him updates when I struggle etc,

Day 37
Clean over shabbos BH

Feeling a small urge now, I have a zoom shiur for 45 mins now, will update afterwards, sometimes being in a zoom shiur compounds the issue, so I'll need to be on guard

Feeling pretty much back to normal now BH. I don't always prepare for this shiur, but it definitely was worthwhile preparing today, it's easier to forget about an urge when you can follow the shiur